Ep 57 REACTING to the WORST 1 ⭐️ REVIEWS of our FAVORITE BOOKS!

Today's episode is exactly how it sounds. We read off 1⭐️ reviews of our favorite books, try to get the other person (and you guys!) to guess what it is, then reveal it with its official star rating on Goodreads. 

We have everything from SJM and The Empyrean to lesser known books involving vampires, shadow daddies, and robots. Dark romance, fantasy, romantasy, and a little bit of magical realism make this episode a well rounded one. Do you agree or disagree with the assessment? Sometimes what we love about a book makes it a 1 ⭐ read for sobeibe else. It’s all in good fun! That’s what makes reading so amazing. 

We’ve also got a faves and fails of the week involving a popular author book signing, and the crispiest Diet Coke of Liz’s life, mixed in with Chipotle gone wrong and a mean case of the Sunday scaries. And a smash or pass involving two hot… aliens? Strangely enough. 

Don't be shy, subscribe! New Podcasts every Tuesday!! (And sometimes Friday!…)

Check out these author interviews? ⬇️

We interviewed Callie Hart all about her NYT Bestseller Quicksilver! Watch it here! https://youtu.be/CED5s7qDBdQ?si=8xtIRO1IzX6Rsld4

Check the official Author Interview with Lindsay Straube of Split or Swallow! Now a Barnes & Noble & Amazon best seller titled: Kiss of the Basilisk!  https://youtu.be/fknhocSNIKM

Watch our Author Interview with Indie Dark Romance Author Ember Nicole here | https://youtu.be/tHV9rXSTBpY?si=OwxdMVfPmtFkcYu6

____

YouTube | TikTok | Instagram | Podcast Platforms

@BestiesandtheBooksPodcast 

Besties and the Book Club on Fable!

https://fable.co/bestiesandthebookclub-474863489358

Liz 

Instagram | TikTok

@TheRealLifeVeganWife 

Ashley

Instagram | TikTok

@AshleyEllix

Shop bookish apparel worn in this episode!

Ashley is Wearing: Throne of Glass “To Whatever End” Tee from @TheBeanWorkshop (use our affiliate code “BOOKBESTIES10”)  | * https://www.thebeanworkshop.store/BOOKBESTIES10 

Liz is wearing: An Exclusive Besties and the Books Beanie (coming soon!) And a “Read or Die” Hoodie from @darkanddisturbedshop | Use Code: VEGAN10 | https://darkanddisturbedshop.com/search?q=Read+or+die

Any link with an * is an affiliate link through the service Magic Links and is eligible for a commission to us with no extra cost to you. Thank you for helping support our podcast!

YouTube | TikTok | Instagram | Podcast Platforms
@BestiesandtheBooksPodcast

Besties and the Book Club on Fable!
https://fable.co/bestiesandthebookclub-474863489358

Liz
Instagram | TikTok
@TheRealLifeVeganWife

Ashley
Instagram | TikTok
@AshleyEllix

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Besties and the Books!
• 4:15 Favs and Fails of the Week
• 13:55 Guessing and Reacting to 1 Star Reviews of our Favorite Books!
• 50:22 Unhinged Smash or Pass

Transcript

0:00

[Music] hey you guys I'm Ashley And I'm Liz And this is the Besties in the Books podcast Welcome Welcome to you Welcome to you all Happy Tuesday or happy whatever day that we're in your ears bringing you this book video book podcast book list It's going to be a good one I yeah I was trying to figure out I was like so technically this isn't a spoiler-free episode but it's also not really spoilery So I literally put here buckle up for an episode that might have very small weird and inconsequential spoilers Yeah When I was looking at the one- star reviews to read off I tried to keep it minimal spoiler If anything it's more plot e you know plot based I don't think that there's really anything in here that would like be devastating But like for those of you who you know are really sensitive to spoilers there might be something said that could give something as I said before very small and inconsequential away So just beware Be aware I feel like we need to do our due diligence so people know What we're doing today is we're responding to one-star reviews of our favorite reads Mhm We're going to get our feelings hurt guys and that's okay We're also we're going to kind of do it with a twist So we're going to you know read off the one star review of our favorite book and then we're going to try to guess it Yeah For the other person Um and then share with you what the actual average review is on good readads That way you guys have some context for how the book actually did and not just um you know this one star review Yeah Giving all the giving all the information about it So looking forward to it I mean we got to make it clear too We each picked 10 books that like are five star books for us that we love So that we love these So we're going to be reacting to people's basically their hot takes one star rating on books we love because we find them hilarious So you know cuz sometimes why you love a book might be exactly why people hate it Sometimes they might have different takes feelings and we love to see it I feel like often times that is the case like someone and that it's funny because you know I'll do I'll post these sometimes on Instagram is just like a post you know like um convincing you to read my favorite books based on one star reviews because it's like I know who you know our audience my audience is I know that you guys will probably read this one star review that someone was horrified by and be like what what is it sign me up like I want to read this yeah so you know you might be adding some stuff to your TBR after today too hopefully yeah exactly so but Before we get into all that we just wanted to say thank you for being here Yes thank you guys so much for being here and joining us on this fine Tuesday and taking time out of your day and your book to give us a little listen Make sure to like follow and subscribe if you haven't yet anywhere you like listen to your favorite podcast including YouTube if you want to be more chilling with us there We are visually there with a full video production over on YouTube So you can check us out and also on Instagram and Tik Tok at Bessies in the Books podcast And then we host a book club too virtual book club Little bit of an antisocial social social book club if you will over on Fable That's an app that you can download for free And if you search besties in the book club we should pop out with all of our 2 years of book clubs Now you can join at any time if you see a book on there that you wanted to read and be able to share thoughts as you go It's chapter by chapter that you pick and you can comment on or you can read you can lurk you can review all those things We actually just finished the book club live just now before filming this for January So we're pre-filming a little bit here but yeah So you can check out those book club live talks on our Instagrams Uh Bessie's the Book Club you know Best Bessies in the Books podcast and then also on Liz's Instagram account at The Realife Vegan Wife and mine at Ashley Alex All those book club lives are there for you to watch the replay in case you're like hm what are people's thoughts on all of this there you go All of this Yeah all of these things All these books Yeah people have a lot of thoughts Turns out Yeah they do Turns out So okay Should we just get into our faves and fails of the week for this week yeah Okay All right Uh do you want to go first you want me to go first sure So Liz was just visiting So obviously that's a fave of the week She literally just got back yesterday when we're filming this Miss her already Miss you so much I know I know So last week we were able to be a little spontaneous which like if you know me I do not do spontaneity Okay Uh so I need to mle something over for months on end and prepare Well the timing worked out that Lindsay Strob who wrote Kiss of the Bassilisk which is now titled it was a retitling from Split or Swallow she was doing her little book tour And where was she but only an hour and a half away from me while Liz was visiting in San Diego So it worked out that we were able to go to that that she did uh you know like a Q&A while we were there She did a book signing and she had a full house sold out Whatever you want to say cuz you don't it's not you don't buy stuff but you it was packed a packed house She packed them in there Packed them in there good So that was freaking amazing And we want to give a little shout out to the book stores that hosted them because my favorite part like the whole thing meeting Lindsay in person cuz we did an interview with him her virtually So that was the first time we got to meet her in person and it was just like like we were talking in the comments with her after It was like we've known her forever you know It was amazing All of that was great Everybody's attitude was amazing and so happy to be there And I want to give a shout out to this book community that I just feel like again is another testament to how special it is that the original bookstore that was hosting Lindsay's event had a flood a few days before the books were not harmed in the making of the flood So that's good But you know the flood you can't really like host a bunch of people there when there was just like a huge water damage everywhere and they got to figure it out Mist gallery Books out in San Diego San Diego region I know that's like pretty big So I'm just going to blanketly say San Diego So if you check out Mist Gallery Books you'll find them So they're hosting they had the flood They were able to host it at Meet Cute Bookshop also in San Diego but I would say looks like on the map it's about 20 minutes from each other So the way like they were able to find a different venue from like you know I hate to say it but technically a competitor you know what I mean and willingly open arms embracing and everybody was so nice at both both people both stores like just it was just so cool to be able to see a come together moment like that you know it's like when would we see a Chipotle being able to use Taco Bell for an event you know what I mean like that's the best like that's the best way I could you know what make a parallel compare so it was just it was just really cool to see You know we're just we're kind of for the first time for me like going out into the community this last couple weeks and being around book people in person and the book community and it's just really special stuff You know we talked about it on our romantic book clon episode just how special it is to be in like-minded people environment It's not dog eat dog vicious It's just very like help helping each other out They hard time man Yeah Yeah I agree So that was my fave that I wanted to make sure we gave a shout out to So check them all out on Instagram for sure Love it What was your fail of the week eating Chipotle after Okay tie it in there But here we will find a silver lining in this fail guys Okay I know that like there's so Lost Book of Jess we'll give her a shout out here on the pod She's one of my favorite booktogrammers and you know she's got a whole bunch of lore about like where to find the crispiest Diet Coke Okay And I'm a huge Diet Coke person too I'm always me and my husband both We're always searching for the crispiest Diet Coke Okay This Chipotle may have been the bottom of the barrel Bottom of the barrel out of chips Like literally diet Yeah But this Diet Coke that I had there was the crispiest best Diet Coke I diet coke I've ever had in my whole entire life Like that is not an exaggeration In my whole life Yeah So hey Hey I'm so happy for you Yeah I am Yeah it was great We didn't really have much options So that was like a bummer that like as cute as the little town was I think it was La Mesa that we were in it was so cute Everything closed at 8 So there was like no food anywhere We're driving you know on the freeway so we have to just get what we can get And Chipotle was open and oh we should have kept driving because it was the bottom of the barrel And yeah literally no chips And you know

it was like 8: 9:11

30 This is kind of weird but I had like instant stomach ache I don't know if I can blame Chipotle but I did not get sick So hey it could have been a mix of being starving you know and eating a lot of spicy food So you know I'm used to eating spicy food but the starving you know and eating Chipotle might have been a bad milk was a bad choice You know what could you do but we did get the crispiest Diet Coke of my whole entire life Yeah So it's worth it I took one for the team If we're ever back down there again for some weird reason we should just go through the drive-thru and get a Diet Coke from there There you go There you go Yeah Um did you have anything more to say about that fail or was that pretty much it that's it What about you what is your fave and fail that you want to discuss well I had two faves My I mean you kind of already covered my main fave Yeah So me being down there obviously fave of the last two weeks and then being able to meet Lindsay If you don't already follow her at Oxford Lemon on Instagram like please just do it She's she's one of the first book friends that I made when I made a Bookstagram account Um and so this whole like watching her whole journey has been so cool Yeah Um you know all the way it's like now here we are with Kiss of the Bassilisk you know we're going to Barnes & Noble and seeing it there Like how freaking awesome is that um so yeah that was definitely a fave for sure Just being able to like make that work It was truly like just a bookish two weeks which was really great Yeah Um that my other fave was just coming home last night and just being able to spend some time with my husband cuz I hadn't seen him obviously in 2 weeks Um and we had determined I don't know how that I have never seen the movie He-Man Have you ever seen it like the '8s fantasy movie absolutely not No Yeah Okay I've never seen it I've determined it's because it falls into the category of like just too violent for you know as a kid I would have never been allowed to watch it Yeah Um but Kanan was like "Are you kidding me?" Like you would love this movie Like it's literally like The Labyrinth or it's like that same vibe you know just like dark fantasy weird '8s like out there vibes And I'm like "Okay." So we started watching it last night I think we made it about halfway through before I fell asleep And I will say it's pretty entertaining in a corny weird way Oh good good good Um so it was nice to just like kind of hang out and you know we went and had dinner and then came home and like watched that movie and I just got to kind of like chill and like settle in for a little bit So that was good Um and my fail of the week honestly like my fail is just the fact that like I haven't been at work in like you know quote unquote real work like my day job I haven't been there in two weeks and I'm like have the Sunday scaries It's not Sunday but I have like the Sunday scar is like literally like through the roof because I haven't been there in 2 weeks and I have so much to do Like I was looking at my schedule and I'm really grateful that I'm busy but I'm looking at like right now I'm staring down the barrel of probably two weeks in a row of like at least 50 to 60 hours being there And so I'm like okay I just it's going to be a really really crazy next two weeks And then my husband and I are actually doing like a little like taking a couple days off together which will be really nice So I have that to like look forward to But um yeah I'm definitely like my fail is like cuz I'm looking at it right like oh I can unpack I need to get the house clean I need to you know do some laundry I was like you know what no it's my last day of vacation Yeah I'm just going to not do any of that and I'm just going to enjoy my last day of vacation Like none of it is all that dire or important You know it's like I slept in I worked on podcast stuff We're filming And then after this I'm probably going to like try to chill and like cook some food and read you know and it's like I'm just trying to like chill myself out because either way I'm going to be at work all week anyway So I might as well just like enjoy this last day And then also my husband wants us to do uh the second half of He-Man tonight after dark if you know what that means Yeah So that'll help chill me out before tomorrow too So I'm excited for that That'll be fun Yeah But yeah anyway Sunday scary is no fun But here we are And it'll be fine That's the thing It'll be fine I'll go to work and it'll be fine I'll be so busy I won't even have a second to even dwell on anything You know what I mean yeah for sure For sure So should we get into reacting to our one star review or not our one star but one star reviews of our favorite books let's do it guys Yeah do it So this is the format Remember I'm going to read off the review then Ashley has to try to guess what book it is of mine that I love and then I'll share what the real average review is on Good Reads We're just going to use Good Reads and then we'll just go back and forth and back and forth Okay awesome One star She's very very very skinny with an invisible waist He's enormous and he can fling her around basically because she weighs less than air That's basically it[Laughter] Okay Is that the only the only one what do you mean that's Is that all I have to work with try to guess it Yeah Yeah I kept these very short and sweet cuz I feel like the one star reviews that I think are the funniest are always the like short weird ones Yeah She's very very skinny Okay Can I know the overall rating the overall rating yeah sure sure sure Okay the overall rating uh is a 3.67 on good read Oh no Out of how many what do you mean oh I thought you meant out of how many i was like out of five stars I don't know Um no Out of 35,043 ratings Okay Do you want me to give you another hint i don't know Yeah give me a hint She's really really Because that could be anybody That's why Cuz that could be any book She's really small and he's giant Literally one of my favorite MMC's of all time Okay so this is for House of Sky and Breath Wrong Wrong House of Flame and Shadow Not Flame and Shadow Definitely not House of Earth and Blood Nope Wrong again Okay What's another Why am I blanking on all the books you've ever read see oh and you know what that's not enough reviews to be them anyways So I take it all back It's not Those would have like a million plus Another one of your favorite books ever Oh my gosh I feel like I'm on that newlywood pod uh that Newlywood game show and I'm failing Okay bring it Hit us with it The Hurricane Wars Oh big one's on All right See yeah A newer one Yeah Yeah Okay It gets a lower review than I would hope for but hey I love it It's one of my favorite books ever It doesn't have enough reviews yet too That's part of it Yeah I think I uh That's a low rating for Hurricane Wars Yeah that and Monsoon Rising were my favorite books of the uh favorite reads of last year So wow Yeah I'm surprised it gets a three cuz So what we've determined lately is that it's like if there's a four in front of it it's like a well-loved book you know for the star rating the average Once there's a three it's not most people you know cuz you can't there's like not going to be an overall rating of one star There's just we can't find it We some we've read some pretty awful books and they still will have a three or a four Yeah So that's weird huh oh poor thing I think it's just very niche I think it's like you know it's it was originally Rao fanfic So if you guys are into that whole fandom like me then you'll probably love it Um But yeah that cracked me up She's very very very skinny with an invisible waist He's enormous and he can fling her around because she weighs less than air That's basically it I'm like "Oh my god that's so good." That's the whole book Yeah One star A fitting end would have been this book in a grave burning in hell Girl you don't get to play with that man's heart You don't get to break his heart and then tell him you still love him I don't care if he did you wrong You have absolutely no right to f up the life of that man whose life is already effed up enough without you playing with him You do realize that he also went through hell under the mountain Hint hint don't you you weren't the only one Learn empathy What he did was wrong but you got rid of those problems and got better No matter the way you got a you got better No matter the way you got better was via the very common medicine in you aka love cures all didn't you you loved him So why would you want to hurt him into a place from where there's no coming back don't give me excuses Batch This person goes hard So you could have gotten everything you wanted So obviously they go on and on about this character's choices It's long So I think I think that's enough We could stop there obviously What book is it well I don't know Like I mean I know that it's something in the Acatar series but I don't know if it's like is it book three which one is that a Court of Mist and Fury Which one is it it's Court of Mist and Fury but that's the second book So this is when you know spoiler but the main character is taking down this man that she's really upset about Yeah Yeah That's the That's the most favorite thing I loved about that book I just love how angry she is She's mad So that is a that is a Tamlin Stan if I ever did see one Yeah she probably got a tattoo Yeah So that is A Court of Mist and Fury book two of the Acatar series 4.65 out of 2.7 million Yeah Reviews That's a lot So yeah one star So many pages of Kale I only verbally abuse you because I love you Westfall Well that would be Tower of Dawn by Miss Sarah J Mass as well I only verbally abuse you because I love you I love this book guys Like five stars It's great to me So I just I love I mean I feel like a lot of people don't give it a chance but I do love the fact that some people feel so freaking strongly about hating it It's so weird to me Yeah Let me look I'm kind of curious Um anyway so what does that get an average review of on Goodreads yeah So that's out of interesting only 821,000 ratings which for SJM I feel like is pretty low She's usually in the millions Um it gets a 4.27 so that's still pretty good Honestly I think a lot of people skip it which sucks cuz it's so good Don't skip it Don't skip it Do the tandem read if you must Yeah do it Okay what do you got poor Kale Okay so this is a little snippet from one review and then I'll go into another one that I found from a storybook reader The Beauty and the Beast meets Twilight novella Okay Okay This is the longer review Five reasons not to read this book Number one treat her like a sister like she's a three-week old lump of some dried dog you know poop uh that you just discovered in your backyard on a summer evening but it's already kind of dry and breaking apart and you're not sure if you should just leave it and let it continue to disintegrate into the dirt or should you pick it up and toss it Number two pessimistic beyond all repair Number three has a blood fetish You guys I think I know what it is This is a book about vampires So that was really funny to me that that's why they didn't like it Surprise surprise There's blood in it Jeez Number four zero survivor skills Literally zero Was about to willfully get abused but who cares because her body's just a vessel for her conscience right number five can't stop bragging that she was a STEM major even while getting pipe Need I say more what book is this that's good Those are good ones It's It's definitely Six Scorched Roses for sure by Caressa Broadbent Oh my god I love that What was the first one it was a mix between Twilight and Beauty and the Beast I didn't get that at all but that's interesting because Well there's a rose involved so that's it though So hey I could see how she gathered that or they gathered that I didn't look at the gender Um yeah Overall 4.26 out of 116,000 This is a nolla meant for like it's like 1.5 So you could read the first book then read this one then read this the third Well would it be like the second of the Serpent and the Wings of Night series So it's a standalone though too So a lot of people that had negative reviews read this after Ashes and the Starkers King So they were expecting a different kind of dynamic with these characters than they felt like they got or they had expectations set up you know So thought that was interesting But those were that was funny Random PSA that has to do with Crowns of Naxia series So Carissa Broadbent on her Instagram has officially announced that you know the next book is coming out in I want to say August or I don't know sometime in the fall That's not the announcement The thing that I found to be really interesting was that she said characters from all of the books will be in this new book Oh that's cool So we're going to see Yeah the um the characters from Six Scorched Roses We're going to see you know obviously the characters from um Serpent and the Wings of Night and from the Song Burn the Heart of Stone So things are coming together I'm excited That's freaking awesome It's freaking awesome Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Oh I wonder if Slay the Vampire Conqueror Yes Also yes Wow She did say that So literally characters from every single one of the books including um the novela and the spin-off are going to be in the new book Wow That's cool Epic battle perhaps I don't know But it's going to be pretty neat Nice I'm cracking myself up over here Some of them just give them away but they were so good that I had to share them anyway Yeah Yeah that's fine Okay So I'm just going to read a little bit of this review because it like honestly it just goes on and on and on It's too crazy Okay one star What the f is this[ __ ] the latest the latest pop culture item If not Twilight or Harry Potter it's pre prepubescent stuff like this that grown adults are reading They're reading the same stuff as their shitty teenager If one more friend or family member suggests this is a good read I swear I will punch them in the mouth It is mindblowing that this book has a higher rating than any Aldis Huxley any George Orwell or any great book for that matter This is exactly why the world sucks and nothing will change I don't even need to read it I just hate it because it exists And it goes on and on and on and on but I included that last part to give you a hint on what it might be What was the last part where he says that it gets a higher rating than Okay other topian novels perhaps Yeah So I'm going to go with The Hunger Games Yes it is in fact a one star review Is it book one book one Okay Mhm I know I thought that was hilarious I was like "Oh my god this person is like so anti The Hunger Games." I'm like "Oh my god I love that." Now dude now that we read it all now for me first time like I don't get the hate It's so crazy good But hey you know so it gets 9.2 million ratings Wow And it gets an average of a 4.34 Yeah On good readads So makes sense That's good Yep Okay So here is what I got for you guys So just this little snippet from this person's onestar review I have been hoodwinkedked bamboozled led astray run a muck and flat out deceived Okay This was so far from anything even resembling good I am aruck that there was a period of time where it felt like I could not escape this book By that there was a group of people I knew that were doing a buddy read and somehow I was lost to join and only the the only one to finish Tell me how that makes sense Okay And then just a little little tips for the other side a different review Hot mess in 700 pages This book has been on my TBR for a while and while I finished it oh man where do I even start with the hot mess first of all the praise for its wonderful world building initially intrigued me but upon diving in I found it to be mediocre and lacking creativity The author's use of terms like day for daytime and slumber for nighttime was just the beginning of my cringe with it Mhm When the moon is boom done Mhm I love that book so much too So much We love it We get it We get that it's a love or hate It's a cumbersome book It is It very much is And it had a 4.04 overall score with 187,000 Goodreads reviews So it's getting close to the three there which we can know can be a bad sign We absolutely love it We ate it up I have three copies of it plus the audio and the Kindle And so five five variations of this book And I can't wait for the next one But it is chaotic in my opinion It's chaotic with a purpose So I love it And entertaining and good and entertaining I love it I love it so much Yeah Okay there we go Good job You did it Yay Okay What do you got for me okay Yay One star Yeah I'm not going to read 626 pages of Fay Dick So uh DNF for now For now We'll come back to it later I know I love that And I love that they're like adamantly like I'm dnfing this book but I might come back Might come back later Okay Yeah See the 600 something pages is throwing me off to what I would guess So So it gets 2.7 million ratings Yeah And it's a 4.65 Yeah I guess I'm going to go with Cos Flames H close It was also a court of mist and fury Oh yeah see I figured you'd put silver flames in there because I was thrown off with the page numbers I'm like that's a thousand pages but maybe the person has it wrong You know of mist and fury people apparently really feel strongly about this book They do They do cuz it's uh especially I noticed cuz coming off of a quarter court of uh thorns and roses you know the people that don't like it were reading Mist and Fury to see if they should give it more chance and a lot of them still hated it Yeah So Okay So this next book here's a review Okay I never thought it would end A so sad A more thorough review One star I really liked that this was a retelling of Pinocchio but what really bothered me was just because it's a queer story does it have to be over sexualized there were moments where things were said that made me very uncomfortable like them talking about anatomy sizes but they're just machines Why i've enjoyed other stories from this author Where did the story go wrong the other stories didn't focus on sex It's confusing to me that the machines would be programmed to say sexual things if the person programming them isn't overly sexual Okay So my best guess would be In the Lives of Or is it like the puppets book by TJ Cloon what is it called it's the one in the Lives of Puppets I haven't read it It's just it sounded like the only book that I know of that you really like that stars robots However I didn't know that they were like sexual robots They're not So it's funny That's all the person took from this Okay So to give you like some guidance here Well first of all first of all so by TJ Cloon who did Under the Whispering Door that I think most people are familiar with it only has 86,000 reviews currently and it gets a 3.91 Okay I loved this book Okay There are a lot of induendos sprinkled throughout and it's like a bit of comic relief and funny what I find a good take to be because this character and it doesn't spoil anything but the main character that we kind of are following along is asexual and kind of trying to figure out his place in the world So it's a post-apocalyptic kind of dystopian setting where you know I don't want to give too much away cuz it's a nice adventure but he has robot friends along the way and the robot friends tend to purposely make him uncomfortable and say jokes and things cuz I just find it an interesting take This person took it offensively I take it as imagine trying to navigate the world as someone who isn't confident in their sexuality yet and has to constantly be hearing sexual things It's kind of like the world that we live in you know So her critique of the robots not being programmed to it their critique of the robots having it programmed into them What do we know about AI right we know that AI kind of pulls from the database of everything and maybe the robots that are programmed can see that that is humor that humans get because he's essentially the only human as far as we know So they're like trying to relate to him and they get their own personalities because artificial intelligence you know it's debatable on if they can form their own personalities over time So that's the review on that I thought it was really interesting take Yeah Um maybe missed some of the subtext in there but that's all right If anybody wants to read it listen to the audio on one and a half times speed because it makes it robotic and it's perfect you know and the audio the narrator it does a great job So yep You go So this one obviously will be given away by the review itself but it was just too good Okay one star All I could think about whenever King Fisher spoke is that that's the name of the top selling beer in India and the label on said beer is significantly more interesting than whatever the f I just read Quicksilver Quicksilver I know Ouch I know We both loved Quicksilver so but I thought that was Well we loved all these Yeah Yeah Shots fired Okay let's see What's the overall uh it just that's hilarious I ti I tried to type in Quicksilver and it brought up a book called A Quick Bite Our Taste Is Never Enough And it's obviously about It's like a vampire romance That's funny Okay Um Quicksilver by Cali Hart is has 327,000 ratings and it gets a 4.41 So pretty good That's good Yeah 4.41 Reasons why I didn't like this book It was dull as dirt It was way too long I was so tired of the angst no matter how you justify it The main MMC is overrated There I said it I fell asleep listening to the audiobook over 15 times Seven alone for the last 10% The chapter with the witches felt so pointless By the way the king outlawed magic but witches are okay The [ __ ] oh well I don't care I feel like each book follows the same plot This person trains fights kills monster Done Uggh I can't Was this any guesses was this KOA kingdom of Ash Wasn't KOA but you're on the right track Empire Throne of Glass Nope I don't know then Air of Fire My favorite book in Throne of Glass The witches were pointless Yeah Come on Give me a break Get out of the boat Get out Get out Get out of here Go and get um No but I thought that was so funny cuz I'm like she figured out something and didn't No they Steph figured out Steph you're so close Keep going The King Outlaw's magic but witches are okay There is something to that It's not a plot hole Okay I love that when people think it's a plot hole but it's like actually a part of something Bigger grander faster stronger All right What do you got well how does it do give us the review I'm sorry Air of Fire 4.46 out of almost 1.3 million Yeah So it is a loved book overall This could just be a bonus one because it's one of my favorite one-star reviews I've ever found Um because obviously it will be given away in the title So I'll just slip this in there for fun One star This This should be called Kingdom of A Yeah Which we've accidentally said multiple times Yeah So many times Yeah Uh so that's just a bonus We don't have to go down that rabbit hole but I just thought it was so funny Okay Um so this one you might not guess because I might have to give you a hint because you have not read it with what in itself is a hint Okay One star Um what did I just read this was terrifying in a way I can't describe Nothing about it was scary but I'm traumatized The book is short I wasn't expecting anything extraordinary In fact I only downloaded it for a 7-hour long drive but come on The book is literally smut A little bit of plot with a lot of smut Some people might enjoy it but personally this was extreme Okay I read it recently It could be so many Yeah I read it very recently Okay Did you do the audio or physical i did uh the ebook Okay The ebook Is it white out no But that's a good guess That's a good guess Is it like a Christmas nolla that you read no but it's a nolla that I read recently I don't know what it's uh Shades of Red by Willow Prescott Ah yeah So good Ah so good Okay so it has 2,999 ratings and it gets a 3.37 So it deserves better Go read it and give it a good review Yep So if you want all those things that people didn't like there you go Yeah The reviewer didn't like I'm obsessed with this nolla Please go read it It was so good It definitely I could see that though where people would be like "Whoa that was way darker than I thought." So check the TVs you know Yeah One star This is possibly the worst book I've ever had the displeasure of reading the concept is decent and the theme the author tried to tackle is relevant and it would have made for an excellent topical story But that unfortunately wasn't the case here It wasn't the case at all I found the writing style to be unbelievably annoying It repeatedly made me want to stab myself in the eye The story was dragged out and just unnecessary stretched to the point of breaking The metaphors were ugly and I swear there wasn't a single page that didn't make me want to roll my eyes in exasperation And it continues to rant and rave You probably can't guess from that I'm just give me a little hint Well I have a great This is a five star hint from a fivestar reviewer Ash says "Made me want to blow my own jaw off but in a good way." Oh Uhhuh Um Invisible Monsters by Chuck Pelanick Yep Yep Ding ding ding ding Nice Uh four like a solid four star out of 147,000 So not as many as I thought but yeah My next one Two perverts play kinky hideand-seek while not understanding how trafficking works[Laughter] H is this the um now I don't remember which one but the remember Nicole's book Survive for Lee me Live for Me No No Okay Do you want me to tell you is it Haunting Adeline yes it it's haunting Adeline So book one Sorry Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah I haven't read it but I guessed good I good for that Yeah Yeah It just cracked me up so much Well not understanding how trafficking works Yeah It's a little problematic part probably Yeah What's the overall rating on that one um that's a good question It has 710,000 ratings and it gets a 3.96 Mhm My next review is here First of all one of the little snippets was propaganda for children So spicy dystopian society or teeth pulling with no anesthesia I hate to be a downer but this book was uggh I don't know how I made it through Okay I do know I had to read it with my students when I was student teaching There are books that will inspire kids to read more This book in my opinion is not one of them Any guesses on what it would be can I get like one more little hint i'll give you another review I hated this book It was very violent They kill babies and ask for release which means they get a needle in the head and die So this book made me cry 19 times and it's so boring No interesting moments which to me was a little contradictory cuz that sounded very interesting Is this the Is this the giver this is the giver Congratulations I couldn't really remember it because like I've only read it once and it was kind of a long time ago So yeah fair Uh 4.2 stars out of 2.6 million So the childhood propaganda was hilarious to me Yeah So a lot of people had issues with it because of the themes of the age group But guys it has a lot to do with like Nazi treatment and stuff and the uh genetic cleansing So while it sucks sadly this happens in our real life Yeah Yeah Yeah So yeah it is a bummer but it's a way to digest it that's easier for kids And I didn't I loved it It inspired me to read That's what I found hilarious because that was one of the first books I fell in love with like fully That was probably in seventh grade when I was reading it I was hearing a lot worse stuff on the playgrounds too Okay let me tell you Let me tell you something All right my next one uh kind of gives it away It narrows it down for you SJM used some variation of the phrase balls tightening six times in this book One star That has to be House of Sky and Breath Yes Yes Crescent City 2 Well good old Hunty Yep Good old hunty Oh I love that It's like really though It's such a good book That's all you got out of it come on I know Usually people critique the world building and the cumbersomeness but not too bad Just the balls This one gets interesting This is interesting Whoa Okay So it only gets 658,000 ratings which for an SJM book is weird right like that's weird Yeah Yeah So I don't know what's up with that Maybe we all forgot to rate it I definitely didn't Five stars Um it gets an average of a 4.44 which if you guys know me four is my favorite number Coincidence that my favorite book if I had to choose one gets a 4.44 rating Yeah Interesting Lucky number Lucky number Mhm All right I got a good one right here One star I'm sorry but it's a no for me It's always a case of you questioning yourself when a hyped book doesn't work for you But I have reasons and regrets and I want a refund of my time and money I can't decide whether to rate it a two or one So it's a one star Let me drop some truth bombs It seems that fantasy romances whether they're adult or YA have been using the same formula these past few years in where they f focus solely lies on the plot and the action scenes and the same attention isn't given to the characters in their world I do not understand why this is a case The balance between them is all off Any guesses not really I feel like that's pretty broad Um can I get can I get like one little hint 2.7 million Okay Ratings 4.58 on the star scale Is this just for very popular very hyped and it is not in the SJM universe I'm gonna But it was a five star read for you Yeah Yeah it was So I'm gonna hurt your brain right now Yeah I literally have no idea It is Fourth Wing by Rebecca That's where it ended for us Spoiler on our thoughts and opinions on book two and three So that's why it was out of your brain It was one of the last I thought was like "Oh yeah That was a fivestar book for me." I was going through my good readads list I was like "Let's do this is going to throw Liz off cuz guys the other books I can see where it's unraveling because people already have a problem with that stuff when I was looking at the reviews So it's only getting worse Great Yeah Um okay my next one I'll give you a hint because this is again I like to stick with the short reviews because they crack me up Um you've already the author has already been mentioned Okay Okay So that is the hint So one star looks like they listened to it 7 hours of poorly written Disney movie Oh jeez Lou we all have to work off of Okay It could be anything Seven hours That's a short one That's a shorty Is it the second Haunting Adeline mm Oh my gosh Disney movie I don't know I hope not Disney movies Look at Ashley thinks that she's like "Well if you like Disney movies I've heard that the cat and mouse du hunt's good Maybe you should check that out You're like horrifying people across the nation Oh Oh you said the authors already even mentioned cuz I would say no I mean okay I don't know Let me look up the reviews Hold on Oh it looks like several people that we know rated it five stars so that's also good Um so it got 279,000 ratings about and it got a 4.13 The Disney thing is throwing me off Yeah Let me just tell you what it is Yeah Under the whispering door by TJ Cloon Ah dang Okay What's Disney about that i think it's just like that was one of those like heart It has like a heartfelt plot You know what I mean so I could see how like that Oh like maybe Disney Pixar I could see Yeah Yeah Like that kind of vibe you know yeah All right Yeah That was such a good But that's not a bad thing for Disney adults you know like add it to the list Yeah Do it Yeah it One star from Tim We're watching you Tim I'm supposed to love this book It's a classic It's the great American novel As an English major I'm supposed to worship every sentence in this book and praise it for its brilliance But I don't like it I really don't In fact I downright dislike this book I hate every character in it I hate the supposedly bu brilliant pros I hate the supposedly clever symbolism There is not a single thing in this book that I enjoy But Tim it's a metaphor for the American dream And I get it Of course I get it The symbolism is so blatant How could I not get it any guesses the Great Gatsby Yep That's it The Great Gatsby gets 3.93 stars out of 5.5 million Crazy A lot of disgruntled high school readers in there Yeah But are they really rating things on good readads like Yeah maybe Never know I know Okay Spite So I think this is going to be my last one I think people forget with Great Gatsby that it's it's 100 years old I liked it I I mean we reread it recently and I liked it just as well Like just as much this time I did too Yeah Yeah I liked too Okay Okay So this is from a popular trilogy that's out right now I'll give you that little hint Okay Oh okay I think I got it If I have to hear this woman giggle one more time I'm going to become a serial killer It's the butcher and blackbird It's actually number two Leather and L But yeah All right That was close Yeah Which is so funny because I feel like so many people complained about the audio and about her laugh being so annoying and it didn't bother me at all I was like am I just weird like I don't know A but I loved it I loved it Okay so let's see Leather and Lark I'm currently almost done with book three and I also love book three Um but I think that Leather and Lark is still going to be my favorite at the end of the day Book two Yeah it was just so good So um it gets 190,000 ratings and it gets a solid four Nice Four stars Mhm I got to get I got to get to reading that one I'm not You're going to love it You're going to love it Dissuaded Dissuaded Is that is that right yeah Disadu Dissuade Yeah Dissued I'm not dissuaded from the one star No Okay The next book I have God blessed me with these eyes and I abused them by reading this book Great I'll give you some more though Somebody else's review I feel about this book The way every dad feels when their child does something stupid I'm not mad I'm just disappointed Imagine you're watching Zootopia In the background someone is playing Bright on Netflix obnoxiously loud and then almost insidiously lurking in the corner comes of all things the Winks Club theme song Mix it all together slap a pretty cover on it and you've got this books The characters were probably the best part of this but that's not saying much since they were mostly slabs of moist wallpaper Oh yikes They go on and on and on Any ideas i literally have no idea Can I have a little Can I have a little hint maybe your hint will be 4.46 46 stars out of almost a million H the terrible characters That's all I kind of gleaned from that Character characters chaotic crazy world building A lot of people complain that it's too cumbersome and hard to keep up with But you rated it a five star Absolutely obsessed Obsessed Because I know a lot of books that give the chaotic energy but that you didn't like them So I don't know Uh I wouldn't say chaotic but cumbersome I would say it's a lot It's a lot at first for people So political elements magical elements It's Miss Sarah J Mass A House of Earth and Blood Yes Mhm That was my favorite one of the series It's good It's really good Yeah That was it That was it Nice So guys I know a lot of you have probably read those books anyway but hopefully there's some in there that you haven't read that now you're adding to your TBR Now you're excited about it Yeah I'm glad we did the guessing game That was fun Yeah that was fun trying to figure it out cuz then reacting I'm just kind of like yeah well sorry you feel that way You're wrong What do you What can I say i just love I mean a good a good roast is funny especially when it's like well thought of and quippy I appreciate that You know I feel like whenever I've rated a book low and written like a full-on review I do more of like an analysis of like why I'm rating it low But I do appreciate the the complete opposite approach which is just one sentence straight to the point Yeah Yeah Yep So should we wrap this up with a smasher pass let's do it guys Unhinge smasher pass coming in hot As I told you guys earlier in this episode my husband is having me watch He-Man for the first time in my existence And I had no idea that this is where this character was from But Smasher Pass Skeletor Smash Smash all day Skeletor That's Skeletor I mean he's ripped dude Yeah And he he I love all the memes now about him It's like funny So Smash when it comes to especially the meme lure Yeah I had no idea that that's what he was from And so that's actually I didn't want to give it away earlier when I was talking about it but that's the reason I think why if my mom would have seen like a preview or a trailer or something she would have never have let me watch it because like we weren't even allowed to like like let's say we wanted to buy a hoodie with a skull on it No Yeah Absolutely not Absolutely not And so until I was in high school and then she couldn't find it anymore As soon as I saw that character I was like "Oh this makes sense This would have been banned in my house for sure." Um I feel like they could have done a better job with the live action version but still but it was the '8s right So we'll give it a pass on the a different type of pass Yeah But you get a pass Yeah I So I would say the animated version better Animated Animated Yeah I haven't seen the live action but either way animated or nothing All right Uh I don't think we've done this before Correct us if we're wrong but Venom uh like the like the actual monster Venom Yes Smash Wow Tom Hardy That's his name right the guy who plays Venom I think Pat Ah interesting He's gross to me I don't know I know you guys are like what everyone loves Tom Hardy so hot I'm like absolutely not Like literally the Venom monster that like pops out is hotter to me than him Yes I'd agree with you But it's a pass for both for me cuz the Venom monster is too oozy with the tar gunk and the venomness I like him I like it I like him It's good That's good I can see I can see why It's just a It's gonna be a no for me on the goo So I have him staring down at me right now how I built his head out of Legos and then I put a cute set of black uh Mickey mini ears on him from Disneyland I love that You're going to have to take a picture and show us on your stories Yeah that's so cute I love it Yeah All right you guys Well any final words Liz no I think that that about wraps it up Hopefully we've convinced you to read some of our favorite books by giving you one star reviews Yeah And also just to like say "Hey we know that we are harsh sometimes but we can take it too We can dish it out but we can take it." Yeah Like I'm totally fine with all these people not liking my five star books That's okay It's all good To each their own Everyone gets different things and that's fun So thank you for joining us today Make sure to like follow and subscribe before you go anywhere you like your favorite podcast Don't forget to check us out over on Instagram Tik Tok at Bessies in the Books podcast either from some extended content Okay you guys we'll see you next Tuesday Next Tuesday Bye bye[Music]