Ep 90 Answering the MOST UNHINGED Questions from Reddit, Bestie Community, & Each Other!

Literally what in the actual heck is this episode? It’s all of us having a great time at the water cooler of the future, that’s what! Thank you so much to everyone who submitted unhinged bookish (and random!) questions for us to answer. It was truly a blast, and we hope you got to know us a little bit better. We got to know ourselves better, that’s for sure! 😭😂

We answer all of the important questions like: what’s the most unhinged book we’ve ever read? Are we team “we were on a break?” What would our warning label say if we came with one? What would we do if we woke up as the last person on earth? We even go so far as to come up with our 5 Cult Commandments on the fly, at your request of course, and answer what we’d probably die from if we traversed the Oregon Trail. Oh… and would we go to Jurassic Park if we could?

We rank the smashability of all the men of Friends, do a fave or fail bookish unhinged edition, and even discuss Ashley’s obsession with what we’re now referring to as “corn kernels from the ground.” We can’t stop laughing, and we hope that discussing how we’re crunchy and plain or spicy and round can give you a little more joy in your life. 

Don't be shy, subscribe! New Podcasts every Tuesday!! (And sometimes Friday!…) + Shop our Merch line | *  https://besties-and-the-books-shop.fourthwall.com

Check out these author interviews? ⬇️

Penn Cole talks with us about Strong Female Characters, Feminist Themes, and her debut bestselling Spark of the Everflame Series! https://youtu.be/7ukNImyoObw?si=7C3Y9kOUMN4hfcKb

We interviewed Callie Hart all about her NYT Bestseller Quicksilver! Watch it here! https://youtu.be/CED5s7qDBdQ?si=8xtIRO1IzX6Rsld4

Check the official Follow Up Author Interview with Lindsay Straube of the Split or Swallow Universe all about Between Two Kings! https://youtu.be/OW1cxXTVcTc?si=oOxVIzbIheET_bNE

____

Shop Bookish Merch we are wearing:

Ashley is wearing: Mickey’s Little Monster tee from @ Etsy | * https://go.magik.ly/ml/3d0br/ 

Liz is wearing : Emo Wife beanie from @puketheday | https://puketheday.com/products/emo-wife-knit-beanie-embroidery?_pos=1&_sid=7e389ba02&_ss=r 

And a “I Still Read Fairytales”Crew by @shadowboundspines | https://shadowboundspines.com/products/i-still-read-fairytales-just-for-the-villains-now-crewneck

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Besties and the Books Podcast
• 2:12 Favs and Fails MOST UNHINGED Books
• 8:25 Answering Community Unhinged Questions
• 25:00 Asking Each Other Unhinged Questions
• 59:30 Reddit Unhinged Questions
• 1:10:12 Unhinged Smash or Pass

Transcript

Boo. I told you her vibe was off. I like how Ashley's been waiting in the wings for the last 25 years. Talk about conspiracy theories that I believe they did not go into outer space. I said I'm just a millennial girl. So like I like all the things that you would anticipate that I would like.

Hey everyone, I'm Ashley. And I'm Liz and this is the Besties in the Books podcast. Hey, welcome. Welcome, welcome. Buckle up for a spoilerfree episode today. This episode is all about us answering your unhinged questions, bookish or otherwise. You sent them into us, we're answering them. Um, we're going to do a series of those. Then we're going to do a series of kind of like get to know us unhinged questions just between the two of us that we've come up for each other that we did not share ahead of time that we have to just come up with the answers for on the fly. And then if we have a little extra time at the end, we might throw in a couple um little unhinged questions from Reddit. Um but before we get into all of that, we just wanted to say thank you so much for being here. Yeah. Thank you so much for being here, taking time out of your day and your book to come hang out with us and answer some of these weird questions. You guys, we're going to be putting some of these random ones to the polls. So you guys can answer too this week on our Instagram. So make sure to follow us there at Bessies in the Books podcast. And we are everywhere you like to listen to your favorite podcast, including YouTube. We're also on Tik Tok, Best Seasons of Books Podcast everywhere. Just if there's an app, search for us. There we are. Come hang out. Give us a little follow. And then also, hm, what's a random question we can ask them right now for those that can comment? If you had to read your favorite book for the rest of your life only, or never get to read it again, what would you choose? What would you choose? But you can only read that book. I'm curious too, just because um we're going to kick it off here with our faves and fails unhinged book edition. Share with us your mo most unhinged read you've ever read, too. I'm curious about that because I will probably read them. Yeah. Send it in. Send it in. Yeah. So, speaking of, should we do that? Should we get into it? Yeah, we should. Yeah. So, Fave and Fails most unhinged book edition basically that we loved or that we hated. Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. I have two faves of like basically the most unhinged books that I've ever read but that were amazingly good. Yeah. Um so I have two. One is and I've talked about this book so much on this podcast so sorry if it's annoying but I'm trying to get every it's my mission in life to get everyone to read it. Okay. It is Under Your Scars by Ariel N. Anderson. It is about as unhinged as you can get for dark romance. There you go. um while still being incredibly wellritten and very good. Okay, so check all the trigger warnings for sure. Um if you're not familiar with what it's about, it's basically like a dark romance kind of almost like a Batman Bruce Wayne um like dual identity, secret identity kind of thing, but it's a lot more like psychological thriller too. Yeah. So obsessed with it. read it if you're into dark romance and you check the TWWs and they're okay with you very unhinged. Um, the other one that I did want to give a shout out, which I have mentioned briefly on the podcast before, but everyone should know this because if you want a good unhinged dark romance read, it is called White Out by Gracie Williams. It's actually a Christmas novela. Yeah. But I feel like you could enjoy it any time of the year. Yeah. It probably, without spoiling anything, literally has the most unhinged ending of any book I think I've ever read in the dark romance realms. And that's crazy, especially comparing it to Under Your Scars. Okay. Um, it is extremely unhinged. Please go read it. Again, check the trigger warnings. There you go. Um, my least favorite, so my fail Unhinged book, which makes me sad to say this because you guys know that I'm a huge HD Carlton fan, was actually Satan's Affair. Yeah. Uh, it was extremely unhinged. It was like a side characters kind of like spin-off novella story. Yeah. Um, and it was, in my opinion, just off the rails. Yeah. but like not in like a good way in like a what am I reading kind of way. And you guys know like I don't get triggered really by anything. I don't judge like I don't care what you like. Like I read all kinds of different stuff. But it was just a no from me. Yeah. Yeah, it happens. So those are my unhinged faves and fails. What about you? I got to give a shout out for one of my favorite like most unhinged books that we actually read. I wonder which one this is. Just kidding. I know. I think full sack. Yeah, of course. Who wrote it again? Um Leila Fay. There you go. Leila Fay, what's up? Um listen, I'm giving it a shout out because they win for me. Like very creative and hilariously weird. like you have to go into it not expecting a serious time. It's a Thanksgiving novela and there's magic involved and it's just ridiculous. It's not something I would read again, but I'm glad I did it because it was so outlandish. It was um you know, it's almost like a mad libs of holiday nollas and so entertaining. Literally so entertaining for for adults. Yeah, very much for sure. Uh, so I gotta give it to that one. They won the award. Most unhinged favorite. And then my least favorite, sorry also, Leila Fay, would be Mr. Jingle cuz we were we went on a bit of an investigation discovery to say, "Hey, can she top this?" Listen, we still haven't read her Crow book, which I feel like is kind of a travesty. So yeah, we need to do Crow month. So we we need to get around to that. So we You read a different one. Did I read another one, too? Was one of our holiday? No, the Mr. Jingle was the holiday one. We haven't read another one. We were going to do the Easter Bunny, but we I think it's just those two so far. Okay. Oh, no. I read um St. Patrick's Day. What What other unhinged? No. I read one of her books. Uh she came out with a Christmas no nolla that was like um about a stalker and it was great. It was excellent. It wasn't unhinged actually at all. It It was just like um I don't know, just a nice good time. Yeah. Um, but I can't remember what it was called now because it's been so long. Oh, A very stalker Christmas, a spicy holiday nolla. Yeah, go read that. That one's also great. Yeah, she's great. So, you can't win them all. You know, hey, the Mr. Jingle was just a little too far for me. Um, believe it or not, if you know Full Sack, then you're like, really? Okay. Yeah. I mean, you'd think that that was the one that took it too far. Apparently not. Honestly, you know, I you got to give a shout out to Splitter Swallow or Kiss of the Bass as a fave, too, because like on paper, it's very unhinged. On paper, it's a book. But like Liz and I were talking about the other night, it's like but you don't realize like how much symbolism in is in there and feminist themes. And yeah, it's like it's actually really deep even though you know it's well you can water it down to bassless/n snake smut but you know and it's you know it's it's spicy scenes are very unhinged so and it's a f and it's fun. It's a good time and we can't wait for the second one between two kings. Yes, between two kings. It'll be a nice time. So there you go guys. Let us know what your fave and fail unhinged. Like life is so fun that we can read these like outlandish books. Yeah, literally what a time to be alive. Have a have a fail time and a fave time. It's so fun. So, all right, let's get into the unhinged questions that you guys sent in to us. Yes. PS, we will definitely post something this week. Um, just having you guys send us more unhinged questions so we have some in our back pocket for the next episode that we do of this. Um because we just we prefer to answer ones from you guys. Those are the most fun for us. Yeah. All right, Liz. Would you prefer an MMC with a tail or an earring? Just any MMC. I mean, it definitely depends. Let's say Hunt has it or Rowan? Okay. So, like one of my like top guys. Would I rather he have a tail or an earring? Mhm. I'm going to go with This is actually really hard. It's hard because like I don't have an aversion to tails like you do. I do have an aversion to earrings, but I feel like whereas a tail would fit like with Hunt, I feel like more, it wouldn't really fit with Rowan. Yeah, I think you're overthinking it big time. But an earring would, but Rowan would look stupid with an earring. They both would. They both would. Okay, I'm going to go with a tail. Although I said it does fit hunt a little bit more. Not I don't think so. Don't even say that in my size. Get out. Get out. Get out of the boat. Yeah. So yeah, I'm going with tail because they don't really offend me and I guess like they're in a magical world. It would make sense. Whereas like an earring is just like a choice. You know what I mean? It's like you did it. You did this to yourself. A tail. You were born with it. It's okay. I'm going to go with earring. Easy. Okay. So for those that might be randomly or like pretty new here, this this goes deep. It does go deep. The lore goes to the beginning of like Ash. So me, Ashley's aversion to Tails is deep and strong and Liz's aversion to earrings. Well, because to trace it back, Ashley's aversion to Tales came from us reading The Cruel Prince. Yeah. And his little rat tail/donkey tale like which we read like within the first few months of book club being started. So this was like years ago. So, the lore goes back a ways. Yeah. Mine can be traced back to our cowboy romance that we read where he was a cowboy with an earring. And there is nothing worse. We found we found that aversion that I just That was an episode where we picked uh like picked books based on tropes we hated like for each other. So, I had to pick one that I think Liz would hate and she had to pick one. But hey, he have Haven Ever After series came from it for me cuz he has a tail that I'm He does. He's a gargoyle willing to like act like doesn't exist. It's specifically the type of tail that Carden has. Yeah. You know, so skin tail skin tail tucked on the end. So like whoever sent that, we don't have them right here anymore, but like thank you so much cuz you're an OG. I think it was Ally. Yeah, perfect. Ally, what's up? Thanks. You guys love sending me tails and I'm going to get an influx of tails now. probably and you're going to get influx of earrings. Okay, so what do you got for me? Let's see. We have, what is the most unhinged book you've ever read? So, we kind of already answered that question, but I just wanted to address it because you guys did send it into us. So, most unhinged. Well, I mean, that answer, I guess, could be different because before it was fails and faves, but it could encompass all unhinged books. I mean, yeah. Okay, let's let's give us We have to say something different. We have to say a different answer cuz you already know the ones we talked about. I'm going to say Oh, it's your turn. No, wait. It's my turn. It doesn't matter. You're asking me. It's okay. We'll both go. Uh, the rules don't matter. We're making them up. Um, I'm going to say maybe I'll go with the horror category. Okay. Mayfly was pretty unhinged for my brain and the stuff that I enjoy reading. Interesting. You know, obviously, uh, Haunted has some stories in there that are unhinged, and that was like my first taste of it back in the day by Chuck Pelanuick. Um, but the most unhinged. Most unhinged. I mean, Full Sack is pretty full sack has to take the cake. Unhinged. Yeah. I literally gave it the spot because it was so shocking. Yeah. Um, okay. So, for me, aside from because I feel like White Out really takes the cake for like one of the most unhinged I've ever read, for sure. Um, aside from that, I would say Off the Rails Unhinged might be Does It Hurt by HD Carlton? Oh, yeah. That's the shark one. That's the shark one. And the only reason why cuz it's it doesn't necessarily have any content that like took me a back necessarily as far as like, oh my god, I've, you know, this is just so like out of things I'm comfortable reading about. It was nothing like that. It was literally just like the ending was so out there. I remember I was in the Starbucks drive-thru listening to it and I was like, "What?" What's so funny is, you know, people could hear it then through your car. So, whatever happened there, that's so funny. It was completely unhinged. Like, what in the actual world is happening right now? I know people are taking notes out there. Their next TBR added the top. I mean, it was interesting. It was off the rails. Yep. Like, that's for sure. I'm sure I'm forgetting something, too, but those are the ones that come to mind. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I like this one too. You So we Oh my god. You and Liz start a cult. So we start a cult. What are the five foundational beliefs and what is the initiation process? So hear me out. First of all, thank you TJ author TJ London for sending us this question. That's great. Um go check out her books if you haven't. Okay. Among the p cursed gods. Okay. So here's the thing. our five um what was it? Foundational beliefs. Okay, I don't know about that yet. We're gonna have to like figure those out here. This is like one of those gate projects we would have to do or like AP like okay you guys are splitting off in groups. You're starting a cold. Go figure it out. Like you know it's like you have to work together as a society. It's like hey it's team work. It's group building. Team building brainwashing. It's brainwashing. Um we accidentally started a cold. Oh no. The thing that came to mind, okay, and this might be literally because of Ashley's um recorder/flute playing for Anna Green Gables. The first thing that came to mind with um what is the initiation process was literally like you have to do your best like presentation of an instrument that we give you on the spot. Oo, that's good. Yeah, it's a very like I guess I just I had this flash in my mind moment of like Ron Burgundy playing his flute like around. Yeah. Like you have to be into it. So we'll judge you not necessarily on your skills on the skills. It's how much we can believe that you believe. It's a fun good time. That's a fun good time. Yeah. Yeah. We don't care if What is our initiation process? Getting through our episodes. If you like this, you're in. You're in. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'm okay with that. Mhm. I agree. Okay. So then what are our five foundational beliefs? We're all in this toilet together. Oh, boom. Done. That's one. We did it against all odds. We did it against all odds. May the crows like be with you. Like something about the crows. Like some kind of like foundational beliefs. The crows will guide you. Yeah, the crows will guide you. Okay, hold on, guys. Got to write this down. I Yeah, because I feel like now it's our five pillars of beliefs here on Besties in the Books podcast. Okay, so we're all in this toilet together. Boom. That's self-explanatory. That is self-explanatory. Um, may the crows guide you. Yep. Let the crows guide you. May the crows guide you. Yeah, same difference, right? Um, what was the other one? Oh, shoot. Um, oh, um, we can do it against all odds or something like that. Like, how can we make that a personal belief? Um cuz we always say we got it done against all odds. Yeah. Just we got it we can get it done against all odds. Yes. It's very inspirational. It's cuz Liz and I are always down to the wire on everything that we do because life happens when we originally have so much time and then we suddenly don't and we find somehow magically get it done against all odds. Okay. So what else? So we've got three. I feel like those are solid. Yeah. So what else? I I think that Okay. So, just to round it back out to the um initiation process. So, the actual initiation process should be that you essentially have to like improv an instrument during our five sentence summary on an episode, but you don't get to find out ahead of time what that instrument is. Yeah, that would be initiation. Boom. Okay. Done. Or you have to come up with the five sentences also. You have to do both. Um Gosh, that's hard. Okay. So, the the other one um you know, if you like it, read it. I don't know. If you don't, you know, like something about that like uh if you want to wear it, wear it. Like if you want to It's like a live and let live policy, but like we need a better like a funnier Yeah. like way to say that. Interesting. Okay. Well, it's hard on the spot. We did better than I thought we would. Yeah. Well, because we have a lot of foundational beliefs already in place. Yeah. Wait. Okay. Here, I have an idea. Okay. Okay. So guys, without giving too much away, um we have a whole document of like ideas for future merch that we want to make. Okay. So we may have put some slogans on there. Let's see. If you can outrun me is Yeah. Teaser. You guys don't even know what we're coming up with for that. Um flying on vibes. Oh, flying on. Yeah, fly on vibes as a foundational belief. Fly on vibes. Let's see what else do we have. Um, we already said that. The water cooler of the future. I feel like that's a big one. Yeah, I can't take this anymore. I'm switching to the audio. Yeah, that's a foundational belief. Okay. All right. So, I feel like that gives us some things to work with here. Yeah, it's pretty good. Okay. So, we might have to have more than five foundational beliefs. What our vibe is overall and who we are as a podcast people. If we're narrowing it down though, which ones out of those would you say that we should Let me take a look. I'm a visual person on what? Um, just your list, your ongoing list of the ones we already decided or the old ones for the merch. I don't know. No, the the ones everything. I don't have everything. Doesn't tell them to me cuz I already forgot everything. Okay. What do we have so far? We're all in this toilet together. That has to stay. Yeah. May the crows guide you. That has to stay. Okay. We can get it done against all odds. We could probably get rid of that. I mean, we'll Okay, so we'll keep it on the list, but we'll move it down. Yeah. Okay. We have the live and let live principle, but we don't have like a good way to say that. We have not come up with that. That's something you can't force. Okay. But then we also have flying on vibes and water cooler of the future. Like what you like what you like. Something like that, right? Yeah. It's like when people are judgy and you're like, "Stop it." No, I get what you're saying. No, I know, but I'm trying to like spitball here. Oh, okay. I'm like I understand what you're saying. Yeah. No, I know. We're trying to like trying to say it different ways to see if it sparks something in us. Like what you like. Like cuz you Yeah, we always say like I don't know. Like what you like whatever. It's not that big of a deal. We say that a lot too. Well, here it's not that deep. We will work on perfecting our mission statement. However, at this time before we send out pamphlets for joining our cult. However, at this time, just know that we actually have six tenants or foundational beliefs of our cult that consist of we're all in this toilet together. May the crows guide you. We're flying on vibes. The water cooler of the future. We can get it done against all odds. And like what you like. Yeah. And we will refine that as we see fit. Yeah. But let us know if that's what you were looking for. Sounds good. I love it. Are you team we were on a break or team basically Ross cheated? Well, we rewatched the episodes last night specifically for this question. We did indeed. And it's complicated because they made it complicated. Yeah. Here's the thing. Um, I technically am on team. They were broken up in Ross' eyes. Yep. You know, I agree. And I think that the way Rachel handled it, they were broken up in her eyes, too, until she changed her mind. Cuz she was making she was clearly the honor break thing can be very ambiguous, and this is why people need to talk it out. So, there's no miscommunication tropes going on and no room for error. But like she literally had Mark come over right after. And then when Ross gets to the bar guys, so if you're yelling at me that no, they were on a break. No, Ross gets on to the bar. And it's important to know where his head spaces. Yeah. Which defines cheating or not cheating. So whether he understood what she was saying or not that it all happened so fast that we were on a break can mean both ways. In my eyes, to say a break is putting a pause and we'll reconvene in a couple days. Like don't cheat because that then that would be cheating. But so he thinks they're broken up. He comes in and tells the guys, "Well, we broke up, so like that's great." You know, cool. And he's all depressed and sad and trying to, you know, he's just moping around and that lady is hitting on him a lot. They the guys motivate him to call Rachel. She picks up. He hears Mark in the background within like an hour cuz we tried to like he like went to the bar to meet the guys right after. Like it just happened and he was already unreasonably and toxically suspicious of him. But in anybody's brain, it's like, oh yeah, so you are wanting to be with him. Otherwise, why would he be over 5 minutes after we broke up or supposedly broke up? So he is justified to go and get it out of his system and retaliate in that way. Not that it's healthy and everything, but you know, whatever. He was justified. Like he didn't cheat. Yeah. It is how he handled it after that is problematic and makes it suspicious. Even though he's like trying not to hurt her, it's also like he's lying and he hides it and he runs around town telling everybody not to tell her instead of just fessing up and letting her decide what she wants to do. So then it becomes defensive on her part where they might have been on they were broken up. They could have been broken up in her eyes too because she even says to somebody, "Oh, she's telling Monica." Yeah, she's telling Monica that they broke up and she's heartbroken and she wants to change her mind. She regrets it. So to me that says that she changed her mind after she found out and wanted to hurt him. Also, I completely agree. I think she And that's the thing, too, is like it's okay to be upset that he hooked up with someone when you guys just broke up. Yeah. But he also thought you were literally hooking up with that guy. Yeah. So, it was it's just totally different when you like really put all the information together, I think. Well, yeah. I think she's like hung up on a technicality like we she's basically trying to make it about like him sleeping with someone while they were still together because she's just upset that he slept with someone other than her at all. Yeah. Which is that's what she needs to say. Yeah. Yeah. So we are obviously team. They were broken up. They were broken up, but he is toxic AF. Yeah. Ross. Sorry, Ross. And so Yeah. And even the whole thing could have been avoided by communicating. Yep. Classic. Mhm. Classic. Okay. So, do you want to get into uh some of the questions that we came up for each other? Sure. Let's go. What is the most realistic animal sound you can make, Liz?

Great. It's the first one that came to mind. It sounded great. It wasn't great. I mean, it's the best idea. Try try harder. No, I did try hard. Try really hard. You were like a bored sheep. That's how sheep sound. Try hard or do it again. Do what? Make a sheep sound. That's the best you got. I mean, it's like accurate, but it's not giving sheep like really in a costume. What? I feel like it sounds very accurate of a sheep. Okay. Literally like how enthusiastic do you feel like sheep are? A little more enthusiastic than that. Yeah. This reminds me of acting class. Literally, it reminds me of acting class. whenever I play it for you. Well, that's what I was about to say because we would do monologues and I would always feel like I had a lot of inflection in my voice and like I was really emphasizing like the lines that I was supposed to say and then they would have us, you know, film ourselves and then we would have to watch it in front of the whole class. Um, and I'd be like, why do I sound monotone the whole time even though I thought that I didn't. Yeah. So, that is just my way. There's a reason why I'm not an actor. What about you? Well, now I'm going to give you my goat. Okay. All right.

I'm sorry, but that's a goat.

I think it's good. Yeah. Yeah, I win. Yeah. I mean, that's fine. Obviously, like you're the noise maker out of the two of us. I'm okay. Theon a lot in high school. Remember theon? I do remember. I don't think I can. I don't think it was ever good, though. Let me give it a Let me give it a go. It's not bad. It's not good either. Kind of sounded a little bit more like you're trying to haunt us. Like Yeah, exactly. But that's okay. Give me your best ghost voice. Oo, I love it. That is your winner. Go with that one. Just sounds like a surprise. Give me your best ghost sheep voice. Ghost sheep? Yes. That's so specific. This is the Unhinded episode. Ghost sheep.

That was really hard. Hard. I'm going to try. It sounds fun. You guys do it, too. Do it with me. One, two, three.

It's more like the face you made when you did it. That was the funniest part. The concentration required. It does. You got to really focus. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of That's harder than you think it would would be, you know. Good. What do you got for me? Great. I'm glad we got that out of the way. Um, okay. Here we go. Name a crazy conspiracy theory that you actually believe. I don't believe in a lot of them. That's okay. We just need one. Let me look up. I feel like a lot of conspiracy theories though. It's like um are they or are they just I mean that's and maybe that's why I can't think of any because the ones cuz you believe in all of them. You're like nothing's a conspiracy cuz it's all true. Um should I talk about mine in the meantime? Like I mean I don't think Okay. My conspiracy has a little debunkingness to it. But okay, I don't think that there's an Illuminati. I think that just there's a few people that own everything or conglomerates and it's just all about money. It's not about like it's just whatever the goal is for money. And obviously that's not a conspiracy. That's like literally what it is. But that's what somebody that believes in conspiracies would say. Um but like I don't I just think that's just the end goal. It's not necessarily It's not necessarily to harm people. It's not necessarily, but it probably does as a byproduct. It does. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's not necessarily to take people's rights away, but it's because if they take certain rights away, they can profit. You know what I mean? Like, it's just all So, that's why I think those debates don't always work out because at the end of the day, it's just these businesses that just want to profit against everything. Doesn't matter who. Well, and that's the thing. If profit is the only thing you're concerned about, then you're going to inherently harm people, animals, the planet, etc. Okay, it's like this. This is the best way I can like condense it. I don't think that there's like this big giant like secret society that's just doing weird rituals. I think I mean I'm sure that happens, but I mean like in an Illuminati sense. It's just like no, it's how how can we exploit people to make more money for it? That's it. That's just capitalism. Is that is that an conspiracy? That's the best I got. Yeah. No, it makes sense. If there are aliens, they're 100% covering it up. There's just no way that they're not. So, the Illuminati or No, just governments. Oh, yeah. I just think I've always believed for a lot. I believe that. Yeah. I believe that for conspiracies to what am I trying to say? Some of the conspiracies to me are so crazy that people think that all the governments around the world will work together to hide stupid things like sorry flat earth thing like the whole world the whole world trying to convince round for what they don't profit off of it so they wouldn't do that. Well and also all the governments of the world working together just to convince us of this thing. Yeah. Have you ever filed paperwork with a government agency? I'm just sorry. Oh god. Like it just doesn't make sense to me. I don't know. What about you? Um yeah. So I I when I was writing this down I was like I wonder if Ashley knows this about me or not. Crazy conspiracy theory you actually believe. I believe that the most likely scenario is that we are in a simulation like a video game or the Matrix. Okay. Yeah. I think that out of all of the things that you could possibly believe conspiracy theorywise, like for why we are here and our existence is here, it makes the most sense to me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, that especially the last like what five years. Let's hope that it's a simulation. Um, you know, I think the thing that really trips me out, well, there's a couple, okay, there's deja vu. Those trip me out. Okay. Then there's also like, you know, when you have the quoteunquote glitches in the system. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That freaks me out. Like on days where, you know, you're driving to work in the morning and you turn on the radio and a certain song comes on, then you get to work and a client walks in and they have that song playing on their phone and then you go to like walk down the street and you hear it playing in a store. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's like, what's going on? Why have I heard this song three times at three different like places in the same day? Like that's a weird coincidence. Well, it's weird when do you ever put do you ever put your shuffle on your music and you hoping for a song. So, let's put let's say this happens all the time. My chemical romance. There's a certain random song I want to listen to from them, not the popular one. I put my shuffle on. That's the first song that comes on. But it's my like I understand it listens to you. I'm not saying it out loud. So, do we have chips in our head or is it a simulation? Now, we're really going down a rabbit hole. Yeah. Just a bag of chips up there. There's Doritos. That's all I got. Yeah. Like if you Wait, if you had to be a chip, which chip would you be? Oh,

that's a tough question, L. It is. What kind of chip would I be? Um, I do like a like a weird Cheeto. Um, the Mexican street corn Cheetos. I would be that cuz it's like a little different. Mexican street corn Cheeto. Uh, yeah. I'd be a classic Lelay. Oh, clink classically. Classic. Never fails. Crispy plain crispy plain. Yeah, you'd be a vinegar. You love salt and vinegar. I do love salt and vinegar as well. And you're a little tangy, so Okay, fine. That's good, too. Yeah, but I feel like the classic is my favorite. It never does you wrong. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, it don't. And you don't you don't do us wrong. You're always consistently awesome. Yeah. All right. So, that was just a side tangent question. Okay. As if any of these aren't. Yeah. We'll ask all of you guys these questions, too, on stories. That way, you can tell us your thoughts. Yeah. I'd be curious to know what conspiracy theories you guys believe to be true. Yeah, for sure. There's people that think pandas aren't real. What? Like, they're just fake. But I do believe that it's little weird. There is a conspiracy in there. People just haven't uncovered it because apparently China owns all the pandas and they rent them out to zoos which is weird. So if they're not real, what are they? I mean, yeah. I don't know. That's like a weird like aliens, like people in a suit. Oh, people in a suit. I feel like they're definitely animals. Yeah. Or like painted bears, maybe. Okay, that makes more sense to me other than the deep dive on that one. It's just like a a polar bear that they made. I mean, it's I think it's a GMO bear. GMO bear. Like how long has pandas been in existence? Are they GMO bears? No, I think they've been around a long time. Like dogs they've bred to be certain traits. Yeah, but I don't think that they bred pandas into existence. Yeah. Okay. We know nothing of what we're talking about. We are not bear scientists. Okay. Liz, if you came with a warning label, what would you give yourself or your life?

Uh,

like how do I say this? I know exactly what I want to say, but I don't know how to say it. Or you can work it out with us. You can work. I only have two modes. I care all the way and I'm intense about it. Or I care not at all and I'm a dull dud about it. The in between does not exist. That's good. It's a good warning label. So yeah, be ready for 100% or 0%. Be ready for everything or nothing. Yeah. So what about you? Warning. Hyperfixation in progress. Oh yeah, that's what I mean though. It's either hyperfixation or it's nothing. Yeah, pretty much. Oh, what is your biggest irrational pet peeve? Oh, biggest irrational? I do have a lot. Dang. This is This is why on the spot's hard. And it can't be like normal pet peeves. Yeah. Know I have a lot of weird. I might have wrote written some down at one point. Hm. Okay. While I think you go, maybe it'll inspire me to remember my list. Yeah, mine's really just super simple. I say irrational, but I feel like if you or irrational, you'll agree. Yeah, exactly. Like if you get it, you get it. Um I just said interrupting my hyperfixation. Oh, it's so hard. It's so hard. It's literally There's nothing that makes me more There are things that make me more fully. There's nothing that makes me feel more enraged in the moment than when I'm extremely hyperfixated on whatever it is at that moment, right? Whether it's like reading a book, redoing a like some kind of like organization, a project, I'm alphabetizing my book room, like whatever it is, and then something or someone interrupts me because it's like when you break that focus, good luck. Yeah. It's so jarring. It's almost it's equivalent to being like woken up to crazy loud noises. Like that's scary cuz it's like like I just want to get this done. It's going to take like so much effort to get back into that same zone I was. Yeah. Immediate bad mood. Yeah, it's hard. It is. I hate chalk. Is that a pet peeve? That's an irrational pet peeve for sure. Okay. I hate chalk. I hate the way it feels. I hate writing with it. If my kids are going to play with it, I've decided to protect my piece and say, "Here, have this." And I walk away. Yeah. I don't want to touch it. Like even looking at it, it's not that I'm scared of it. It's that I am horrified. No. Like I It's the It's the nails on the chalkboard. Like to me, even just like holding a piece of chalk, we have that board coming and I made sure it wasn't chalk to go on it. What if you had gloves on? No, thank you. Even writing it, I can feel it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, chalk as an irrational pet peeve, I think, is valid. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm okay if other people do it as long as I'm not there. I mean, yeah. I've had to be there with my kids. It's sad, too, cuz I like how it looks. Like, use like it's so pretty and like it's colorful and it's fun for the kids and I wish I could like it, but I cannot. But you can't. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I got better ones, but that's all I got. If you woke up to be the last person alive on Earth, like you're the only one, what would you do first? Go back to sleep. This is later's problem. This is tomorrow's problem. Well, no, it's like I just I almost never get to sleep in with any type of like peace or um like no obligations. Yeah. And so yeah, I just like get up and everyone has been raptured and I'd be like, "Well, I guess I'm the only one." And then um yeah, like literally I'd be like, "Well, I guess no one's bugging me." Yeah. And I go back to sleep until I felt like waking up. Go find a castle to commandeer, like go set up a library. I feel like for a while I would just do nothing. Yeah. Truly. Cuz I don't know what that feels like. So, I feel like I would just like hang out in my house and like just exist for a while. Like just read and like eat food and like go to the grocery store and like just get a bunch of stuff and like see how long it takes to get bored and then figure it out from when you when it happens. I think so. Yeah, I think that's what I would do truthfully. And it's like never. It's like just walk around my neighborhood. I mean, and that's the thing. I could do like really cool stuff. Like you could go to the beach and like walk around at night. Say there's no zombies or anything. Like it's just everybody just disappears. Well, I was just thinking like I'm not worried about zombies. Like there would be no men. So I could literally like do whatever I want. Yeah. Yeah. Like Yeah. I could just go roam the neighborhoods at night. Yeah. Yeah. Like how freeing would that be? Yeah. Fair. I would go to the movie theater and figure out how to work it and then just sit there and watch big movies for a while. Yeah, I would just live a very lowkey life for as long as it takes for me to get bored. And if that never happens, great. And if it does, then I could just figure it out from there. Yeah. It's like the guy from Last of Us, but without having to do all the like Yeah. I don't want to scary like protection, you know? He's just living his life for a while, you know? Yeah. Exactly. Low key. What about you? Yeah. Yeah. For me, I probably wouldn't be able to go back to sleep yet, but I'd like assess the situation. Yeah. Then maybe I'd go to sleep for a little bit, take a nap because be like, whoa, that's crazy. I'm gonna avoid things for a little bit. And then, yeah, I'd figure out how I could like get a castle and like, okay, I'm just going to live my best life and be fine. Yeah. Yeah. It might be harder to find a castle because if there's no other people that live here, you'd have to figure out how to fly yourself to a castle. I mean, there's I mean, there's castles that are hidden around America. Figure it out. Yeah, that's what I mean. I'd slowly figure it out, you know, then and then would there be animals still? Yeah. Okay. So, animals would still be around. Yeah. Cuz we're making this up. So, then we would have to like worry about like bears and stuff or like if all the humans are gone, the predators would start taking over again. Sure. So, you know, be be smart about it. You know, you could still break your leg by yourself. You're screwed. You could still get dysentery from the water. So, like be smart. That's what Yeah. But if you're the only human left, I mean, there would be plenty of like you'd have bottled water forever until I mean, you can get Yeah, you can boil it and do all that stuff. You'd set up I like your plan. It's a good plan. Like wake up be like whatever. I'll deal with this in a few weeks. Like literally nothing's going to change. Like I'm just going to I got enough food for a couple weeks, you know, and then I can drive to the store and get some like stock up on stuff that is non-p perishable and uh figure out a plan later, but just enjoy a couple weeks vacation. I wonder how long infrastructure would last. Yeah, like electricity and whatnot, not being worked for a couple weeks. Yeah. But I mean, if you had access to gasoline somehow, I'd have to go Yeah. I'd go to the bookstore and buy some like survival books and like gardening books since there's no people there. Yeah. Just take take whatever you want. Live in the live in the bookstore so I have access to all the information. Yeah. Cuz if you had gas then you could run a generator. Yeah. Mhm. You could drive a car. Mhm. But I have to figure out like how to get gas when the gas pump isn't being ran. Yeah. You know, I mean, I guess you could just steal everybody's credit cards, go in their houses, and just keep running it. Oh, but that's electric. You know, well, we workshop it if the time comes. Yeah. We're like talking about, okay, well, we got to come up with a plan. We'll work it. You know, you never really know what you're going to do until you're in that situation, right? Yeah. Okay. Um, what is the most normal thing about you? Oh, h I that I am married with two kids. I think is the most like traditionally normal thing about me. Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. Everything else is pretty weird. Uh, what about you? I just put the uh most normal thing. I said I'm just a millennial girl. So, like I like all the things that you would anticipate that I would like. Yeah. Oh, I just put here. Yeah, I'm basic. I just put I love Friends, Halloween, comfort movies, like 10 Things I Hate About You, Pop Punk, Romanty, Starbucks. Yeah. Like literally all those things. Yeah, that's good. Mhm. Okay. If this is very important because Jurassic Park just recently came out. Yeah. If a real Jurassic Park was ever opened with like literally dinosaurs, would you go? No. Yeah. Me neither. Me neither. They warned us about this. That's why we're like robots, AI, Terminator taught you nothing. Yeah. No. No. I think my husband would go. So, 100% he would. I think I don't know. I don't know if Kanan would go. I don't know if my husband would go. Would you guys go? Would it be one of those things that's like um at first everybody's enraged and boycotting and then eventually before you know it everyone's going. Yeah. It's like well fine, we'll go. You know, I would not go. Yeah. I still have not gone to SeaWorld because of the stuff. Yeah. No SeaWorld here. Not Not because I'm afraid I'm going to get eaten, but it's sad. So, no Jurassic Park for me. Um because I'm scared to get eaten. Like, come on. Yeah. Absolutely not. I agree. Yep. That's a good call. Um, if you could play a song every time you enter a room, what would it be? Like, what would your theme song be?

I'm not okay. As a warning, anything when I come romance, I just love it. It just gets me hyped. Just gets me going. It gets the people going. Yeah. Yeah. What about you? I put She's Out of Her Mind by Blink182. Oh, nice. Yeah. Like when I think of myself, it's the first song that always comes to mind. I don't really know why. I love the California album. Yeah. But for some reason, out of all the Blink songs, that's the one I think of when I think of specifically my personality. Nice. Yeah, I like it. What do you got? So, if you were on the Oregon Trail back then, okay, literally not you now. I mean, it's you, but not you now. Not the information you know nothing. You're on the Oregon Trail. You're just a little pilgrim girl in a pilgrim world. What would you die from? What would I die from? Yeah. Like what are you most likely to die from? Well, what are the things that you can die from? Other than obviously we know like dysentery. What else is there? Um like breaking a leg because doctors starvation, dehydration, heat stroke. Probably heat stroke. Yeah, I bet you. Yeah, it's the sunburns too that'll get you.

They totally every time. Well, I was just thinking like I just I'm ill equipped for long walks in the sun, let alone like transversing like you know the whole west all the way to the west coast via covered wagon. Yeah, it would for sure be uh dehydration, heat stroke, something in that realm. Yeah. Mhm. Yeah. What about you? Well, if I'm gonna That' probably be what would happen to me, too. So hot. Uh probably like It would suck. I'd probably like get bit by a rattlesnake while using the bush bathroom, unfortunately. You know, happens to the best of us. Yeah, does. So, rattlesnake bite. Yeah, I'm going to go with that one. Okay, here. Um Okay, here's a little story time opportunity. Has anything weird or unexplained ever happened to you? Like of the, you know, paranormal or just like weird ghostly variety? No, not paranormal or ghostly. Definitely weird stuff has happened like more glitch in the matrix stuff. Okay. Like do you have one that stands out to you? No. No, it's just kind of like everyday kind of occurrences eventually. Everyday occurrences just happens all the time literally. people are just weird stuff. Yeah. I mean, like you mentioned, deja vu really does freak me out when it's like it's almost like you're predicting what's happening while it's happening. So, it's really trippy. Mhm. And especially if you've had dja vu that you remember having dja vu before. You had that like weird. It's like that. It's like holding up a mirror in front of a mirror. Mhm. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Um if I remember it while we're, you know, talking, I'll I'll pop it in for you guys. What about you? Yeah. No, I definitely lived in a haunted house. Oh, yeah. I won't get into the details. I did not believe in ghosts before I lived there. Yeah, I do now. Yeah, I have stories from other people. Yeah. Yeah. It was definitely like I had a year-long lease and I was out the day that lease was up because there was something in there that did not want me in there and it was very creepy. Yeah. Mhm. Yeah. Okay. I have this crazy neighbor, okay? And I'm not going to go into details, but I always know when she's coming by or like um like if I'm parked somewhere and they're not um right next to where we'd park. Okay. If I am sitting in my car, they don't like walk around a lot specifically or anything. So, it's random. If I see them, it's random. Mhm. and it's predictable, right? It's they're in I'm going to the back of my house and I can see them or whatever outside. So, if I'm sitting in my car in a different area, I'll get a really bad feeling and I'll look up and they're there. So, that would probably be like the weirdest like thing off the top of my head that happened happens to me and continuously happens with me. Those people in particular. Mhm. So, or like if I'm at a store, as you know, it's a town, right? If I'm at a store, I'll get a bad feeling. I'll look up and that person's there. Yeah. So, even outside of the neighborhood, you know, I know I've called this book out before, but it's by Gavin Debecker. The gift of fear. It's the gift of fear. He would say that it's literally just your animalistic like instinct or intuition telling you that there's a danger nearby. Yeah, cuz they are crazy. So, yeah, it's really weird. Yeah, that' probably be the most spookiest like feelings that I can think of at the top of my head. Something happening. Okay. Dagger or sword? Sword. Yeah, even though I think they're really heavy. They're probably so heavy. I want something in between. Yeah, I would like to learn how to wield the sword. Uh, same. Yeah, I think that would be super cool. Okay. Um, I can't remember if I asked you this last last time or not, so I'm asking it again. Great. Because I really am curious. You find out Reese is actually evil. Are you still his high lady? Like, okay. Yes. and actually evil. Not like haha, morally gray, but like No, like acty evil. I don't know. The book series isn't done. Well, I we know. But like you would still be as highly evil. No. No. I don't know. It just depends. It depends what the evil is. Well, what's like the most evil thing you could think of that like a villain would do? Just killing Just for fun. Every Okay. If Reese was killing people just for fun. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Same. But I'm also not like a super big I mean I like Reese but he's not my end all beall. Change it for you. Whoever your number one is. Uh so it' be like if Hunt was just going around killing people for fun. Yeah. Or whatever your line is, you know?

Maybe. Uh and not like good people though. Yeah. like like indiscriminately everybody and not as part of like creepily like a like a creepy serial killer too. Oh then no. I just want to make sure like hunting people down and Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz I'm like in battle or war like that's kind of different because there's obviously casualties. Um Yeah. No, if he was just like stalking ladies that are running by, you know, like Oh yeah. No way. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. No way. That's actually evil. It is evil. All right. Yeah, but we're talking a fantasy setting. So, it's like, yeah, if it's not war, what is it? Well, it' be like a tradition, like a king of Hyburn if he was like more like, oh, I'm just going and taking over all these places and killing everybody. Yeah. You know, it'd be a no. Like, calm down. That just makes it changes their personality. Yeah. It makes him a true villain. Yeah. And that's not fun. No, we like gray area villains. We do like gray area villains or misunderstood villains. Agreed. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So, this is going to be tricky and it's multiffold. Okay. Excellent. Multi-layered. If you can eat any food from any movie, like whatever movie has ever stood out, like the food in it has ever stood out to you, what would it be? I have three different ones. Movie. Food. Uh, yeah. So, I don't remember what year this came out, but Fairy Tale Theater did make a Hansel and Gretle adaptation, and I would legit eat her house because it was made entirely of cookies, candy, and cake. Yeah. Yeah. See, stuff sticks out to people. Um, for some reason the like corn Cinderella throws out in the stable that I'm like over here eating desserts and you're like eating corn from the corn. Cartoon corn. They look like corn nuts and they look delicious. What? Okay, Gus is like stacking them up. I know. I can picture them. That's also how I carry toilet paper throughout my house and I visualize being Gus every time. Anybody else? All the food and all these. Okay, that's one. Okay. All right. So, so Gus stacking the corn. I'd take a bite like um also he's tiny, so it's like a giant corn. That's cool being like a being like a little thing eating something giant. Okay. I like James and the giant peach. But you're not a mouse. I know. But whatever. Um if I could eat it, I mean, it wouldn't be good cuz it's like dried grain. It would literally just be a dried grain. So, what actually looks good? The pizza in a Goofy movie. Uhhuh. For sure. for sure. Yeah, it's so cheesy. Very streamy. Um stretchy mozzarella. What else? Like there's like specifically cartoons always do it. They make it look good, you know? It's like I wish I could eat that. Mhm. Those are the two that come to mind. Mhm. I always just dreamed of having like a cottage made out of desserts in the woods, you know? Yeah. How about anything else that you can think of in like a book or a show that you could eat? that I could eat in a book or a show. Nothing really stands out to me. Maybe we'll just keep it a movie. Yeah, cuz we already got the cookbook for Agatar. Yeah, I don't know. If I think of anything else, I'll chime in. But that's the like one thing that really stands out to me. Yeah, I would love a coffee at um Perk. What is the Friends? Uh Central Park. Central Park. I would love a coffee at Central Park. Like for real. The cheesecake from the stairs. Oh, what does that taste like? Yeah, it's probably really good. Yeah, it must be. I can imagine it to be vegan. Yeah. Mhm. Yep. That's a good one. Mhm. Another one from the SJM universe. Uh, and this is two layers. Okay. Right. If the Bat Boys didn't have wings, would they still be hot? Yes. Okay. They would just be like regular guys. Makes his go away all the time. I know. But like if they didn't have like that power. Yeah, I think so. They're still warriors. Yeah, totally. Hillyan warriors still hot. Yeah. Okay. So then please rank these boys with wings. Okay. They are as follows. Okay, great. Okay. So obviously we have uh Ree, Cass, and AZ. But then we're also going to add in Rain. Okay. And Hunt. Now rank them. Okay. Reason's at the top obviously for Okay. So he's number one. So who's number two? We need like a whiteboard. Um, just in case you're not familiar, obviously Hunts from Crescent City. Rain is from The Serpent and the Wings of Night. Okay, I'm going to go with I'm going to go with Rain. Even though he wasn't particularly high, he's growing on me more the way he acted in the second book. So, for sure. Rain. Reend. Rain. His hair seems really cool, too. It's very red. Want to like put my hands in it. Like dark red. Yeah. Yeah. A dark shifty one. Okay. So, reason

um we'll go with Cassian. Okay. Um

I guess Azriel. We don't know enough about him. Literally the last on your list. It's something about like he's your number one so I just literally don't even consider it. And it's I don't think he's my He's going through a lot right now. So he is. But that's kind of also Bryce's fault. I wouldn't treat him that way. Yeah. But like in general, AZ still has that mystery. So we'll give him that. So I'm going to put Hunt as the bottom. How sad. It's the mech suit. The mech I mean the mech suit did him no favors, that's for sure. No, but like overall I don't know. Mercenary kind of a doesn't do it for me. Mhm. Uh he's an angel though. Yeah. Oh, I forgot about the wings until just now even though we're doing winged. Yeah, it's like literally. Then AZ is still dark moody, but he could be terrible. Okay, I'll give Hunt fourth place and then as last. Yeah, just cuz we don't know. We don't know a lot. Yeah. Um and I think his moody like his will will get like annoying after a while. Yeah, the appeal will wear off. Uh yeah, for sure. Too emo for me. Yeah, as my beanie says, emo. Too emo for me though. Glass houses is what we're all about over here. Okay. Uh yeah, obviously number one is hunt. Number two is rain for me. Okay. I love a good I can't give anything. I don't want to give a spoiler, but book two. Oh, it's so good. Okay. So, Hunt, Rain, Cass, Reese, AZ. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's That's my ranking. Yeah. All right. I'll allow it. As loses again. We don't know enough. It could change. Okay. He needs some more depth to him at this point. He does to be comparative to other people. It's true. All right. What do you got? If you could be any holiday mythical creature, so like a boss like Liz and I had a big after dark discussion about this last night. Mascot, which one would you be? A holiday mascot. Holiday mascot representative. Jack Skellington. Does he count? I mean, no, but okay, that's good. Now, give me one that counts. Well, who do we have? So, be tooth fairy. No. Easter Bunny? No. Leprechaun for St. Patrick's Day. Um, the flag. The flag or flag day. The flag. Um, the great pumpkin I guess is like a thing. Or no, let's say Headless Horseman. Oh. Uh, well, like who else would be representative? It wouldn't be. Nobody. Okay. Um, and you know, Santa Claus and the tooth fairy and the baby cherub. Valentine's Day. That's the one. I thought you were gonna say the baby Jesus. The baby Jesus in the main character. I would be Jesus. Um I think very highly of both. I know, right? Out of those options. Yeah. Who would you be? Who's the pumpkin person? I don't know. It's like Charlie Brown, but then when I was looking up the list, the great pumpkin came in. I don't know what that is. Yeah. I mean, I feel like I would choose whatever Halloween is just by default. Sorry. Um no matter what it is. Uh, if it's The Great Pumpkin, I don't know, like a jacko'lantern or like Jack or the Headless Horseman. Yeah, like really all of the above would be fine. Okay, sure. Yeah, that's good. What about you?

I want to pick a real one, Liz's made up one. Um, leprechaun sounds like a fun time. I love St. Patrick's Day food, too. I just go in and eat everybody's corn beef. It' be great. Yeah. I mean, we found out that your dream food is just corn kernels from the ground. Corn beef is different. It's not really corn. Well, no. I'm just saying your standards are like throwing the ground. Like, as long as we just throw you some grains, you're fine. This is great. Okay, so that covers all of mine that I have written down for you. Do you have any last ones before we move on to the Reddit ones? What job do you think you would secretly be really good at? Oh, would I be really good at? Yeah. Secretly? Yeah. I guess why would it be a secret? I mean, like secretly, what job do you think you could be good at? Or like I don't know cuz like I think I'd make like a good lawyer, but like I don't necessarily think that that would be Okay, let me rephrase it. What what job do you think you would be good at that you don't do? Obviously, I would be good at being a lawyer. I think I'm very good at like logical like analytical thinking. Yeah. And arguing also. What about you? None. None. I'd be good at nothing. Uh um being a lone uh caretaker of um Oh, like a haunted mansion. Haunted mansion. Yeah, like a gothic castle. Mhm. Yeah. You wouldn't get creeped out being there by yourself after so long. No. No. No. Well, I guess that's easier for you to say because you've never had a a haunting. Exactly. So, all right. Now, let's move on to the Reddit section. Okay. So, I pulled just a few off Reddit that just seemed ridiculous. Uh, I went through I don't know, probably probably a good hundred of them. I was surprised that there was that many. Okay. Um, how much sawdust could you put in a Rice Krispie treat before someone noticed?

Huh. Well, um, let's see. Also, we have to establish the parameters. Is this in a a recipe? Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Recipe. Yeah. Okay. So, it's like a whole pan. So, it's like you're making Rice Krispie treats. Yeah. How much sawdust can you put in it before people notice? I think you could probably put Oh, so like a traditional So, it's like when I make Rice Krispies, it's like four cups of Rice Krispies. Yeah, something like that. I'm thinking of ratio. You need to know the ratio. You can't just sprinkle a little sawdust. They'll know right away. Yeah. So, it needs to be mixed in. Okay. So, based on a four cup recipe, traditional Kellogg's Rice Krispie treat recipe, I think you could probably put in I'm going to go with 3/4 of a cup. 3/4 of a cup. Yeah. Interesting. What do you think? I would have said three tablespoons. Oh, this is based on literally nothing. Okay. I'm just thinking of ratio like cuz the rice krispies are already crunchy like what they but those rice krispies shrink way down when you mix them in. The wood would not. Yeah, maybe a/4 cup then. But that might be the same as three tablespoons. Three tablespoons. I feel like it's not quite yet a/4 cup. I don't remember how many it is. It's not quite yet. So you guys let us know how many quarter cup or less. We have no answer. Great. Just vibes. Vibes. It's literally just five. This is unhinged questions. Would you rather get into a bar fight with Sarah J. Mass Tolken or George R. Martin? Um, this is going to sound really mean, but definitely George R. Martin.

And he doesn't seem like he's in very good health. Like, it wouldn't take much for me to like take him down. He has that old man like I don't think so. I don't think so. I he I feel like he'd go right over. Sarah J. Mass. I don't want to fight her at all. I just want to be her friend. And you could also like um say, "George, why did you like mess up the ending of the dragon? Just not not write it." Um yeah, Tolken. Like, how could you? How could you? How could you? Yeah. You know? Yeah. I'm going George all the way. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. Mhm. Sorry, George. Yeah, we're coming for you. He's also still alive. We could have chosen the one who's dead and wouldn't know any better. Okay. Well, it's like if they were living. Well, no. I know. Not Tolken's ghost. Would you wrestle Tolken's ghost? That's what it was originally. Like, author's ghost. And I'm like, that's weird. How do you fight a ghost? Would you fight Tolken's ghost? No. If you met Tolken's ghost, what would you guys do? Not fight. Oh, like if you had one day to spend with Tolken to ghost, what would you do? Just like talk to him like about all the things. coming up the little ask him a bunch of questions what his life was like. I'd freaking watch the Lord of the Rings with him, dude. I'd be like, "Dude, watch this." Yeah. And like see his reaction. Yeah. That'd be crazy. Cuz it'd be crazy for him to like be like, "Whoa, it's like real." Yeah. I wonder if he'd be like, "That's not how I meant it to be. This sucks." Yeah. Or if he'd be like, "This is freaking crazy. It's like blowing my mind." Probably blow his mind, I think, cuz they did a really good job. It stands the test of time. It does. No. Okay. Glad we covered that, too. We're getting things done today, guys. Just checking off the list. Okay. Here we go. Would you cannibalize someone to survive on a stranded island knowing that there's a 25% chance of survival and rescue if you eat the corpse, but a guaranteed death if you don't eat it? I'm not I don't eat it. You die. I die. You die. I die. I die. I I'm a vegan. I probably eat it. Wow. Oh, it's a corpse. They're dead already. I mean, I just Would you cannibalize someone to survive on a stranded island knowing that there's a 25% chance of rescue or survival if you eat the corpse? So, yeah. A corpse. They're dead. If they're already dead. Wow, that sucks. If you know there's a 25% chance, like, you know, there you'll maybe survive, but you'll definitely die if you don't. Yeah, exactly. It says corpse. They're already dead. So, we're going with they're already dead cuz that doesn't say person. It says corpse. Yeah. I really hate this. Um, yeah, if they're already dead then and you and you know the chances, okay, but if they're not then no. If they're not dead, no. No. Well, yeah, cuz that would imply that you have to kill them, too. That's a different question. That's a different question. That's doggy dog right there. Yeah. Yeah. No, this isn't Lur the flies. It's just um Yeah. If there was a corpse, but you had to eat some of them in order to keep yourself alive long enough to get rescued, basically, would you do it? If you knew that there's a 25% chance that you might get rescued. Yeah, we're going we're both going with Yes. Yeah. I feel like it would be silly not to, unfortunately. Okay. Relives.

I'm a vegan, guys. So, hey, you're like, if I'll do it, it's okay. I am the word. I am the truth. Okay. Would you rather go on an adventure with your favorite protagonist or have lunch with your favorite author? Go on adventure with my favorite protagonist. Yep. Yeah. Even though I don't think I can handle it. Yes. Yeah. Exactly. It's like I'm like, "All right, Ailen, take me on a journey." And she's like, "Oh, you're you're dead the first five minutes. Sorry." Yeah. She'll make sure we're okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you got? Um, couple more. If you were a pizza topping, what would you be? Pepperoni. Why? Cuz I'm spicy and I'm round. Cuz I'm spicy and round. I go really well with the floor grains. What? Floor grains. Gus, it's honestly just cuz it's my favorite pizza topping and I'm my favorite me. Yeah, that's a good enough reason. What about you? What would be what topping would you be? I would be pineapple. Why? Because it's a little bit odd and polarizing. Oh, I like that. But it doesn't care. Yeah, but it doesn't care. It's there whether you like it or not. Exactly. Somebody's going to order it. Deal with it. And if you try to pick it off, the essence remains. It will always still be there. I'll be there for you. This whole episode is a full circle moment. We're just going in circles. Okay, let's see. That was good. Uh, yeah. I mean, I have a couple more, but if you have one good one we can end on, I feel like that would keep on going. Yeah. Yeah. What is What's the pettiest reason you ever DNFed a book, if applicable? It's not because I don't really DNF books. Yeah, exactly. Just forgot about it. Yeah, exactly. Like I don't intent I don't think I've ever intentionally DNFed a book. Although, I will say the closest I've ever come to is God of Malice, which I still have not picked back up. Yeah. Um, and I don't know that it would be petty the reason why I don't like it. Yeah, I can think of that witches book that we were reading in your old book club. I DNFed it on accident because like it was just so boring. I forgot about it. But it was good. It was just so slow. It was just like reading historic historical cold book. I feel like that's not petty either. Yeah. Yeah. I guess we're not a good example of this. We'll have to ask you guys what your most petty reason for dnfing a book would be. Okay. Okay. So, um, do you have any other ones or should I end on one? I have more, so we can just keep going. Okay. Well, I have one more. Okay. So, we'll just do two more then. Okay. So, what is your favorite song from your least favorite artist? Favorite song from my least favorite artist? Yeah. So, like who's an artist you really don't like? So, let's start there. Oh, there's so many. Well, just pick one. Huh. Okay. Counting Crows. The Counting Crows. What's your favorite song by the counting crowd? No, I don't have a favorite song from them. You have? That's the question. Well, I just like them the least. So, I just can't stand girls. I also can't stand um my husband loves them. Put them at Perfect Circle. Is that what they're called? I mean, there's a band called a Perfect Circle. I don't know anything about them or what they sing, so I can't help with that. I know. That's the thing is I don't pay attention to my favorite songs by then. Really? See, I feel like this is really easy for me. Oh, okay. What is it? Okay. Because my least favorites um would probably be tied between Pink and Kelly Clarkson. Oh. Um and I definitely like Hazard to Myself. Whatever that is. Yeah, you would. To myself. Oh, you love that song? Yes. Oh my gosh. Of all the pink songs, there are way better ones. Okay. I don't know. I like it. I'm not going to explain myself. I like it. Great. I like it. Yeah. I like pink. So, I don't I can't stand her and I never have. But for some reason, that song just gets stuck in my head. Kelly Clarkson. I also cannot stand. I don't know that there's a song by her though that like I even can like remotely like. Yeah, exactly. It's Connie Crow situation. Okay, I figured out mine. Katy Perry. Oh, okay. Which song? I I used to love Katy Perry before she went insane. Okay, I'm glad. Okay, do you know how justified and validated I feel now. I've been meaning to talk to her. We can't like anything. You know, everything gets ruined. Why don't I knew she was going to ruin stuff eventually, though. I told you her vibe was on. I like how Ashley's been waiting in the wings for the last 25 years in the books. Like literally. And then like Homer in the bushes. Yeah. How long has she been around? I've been telling Liz forever. like her vibes are off. There's something about her. She's like, "Listen, okay, this is where it started." She was dying her hair fun colors, which like there's nothing wrong with it, but it felt phony, okay? Do you ever see somebody that has like a fun color hair that's like something's not right about it, doesn't fit you, cuz you are a poser. Petty reasons for not liking someone for 500, Alex. Katie. Yeah, because before all the craziness, Katy Perry is the best example. Hands down. Like um So what's your favorite song by her heard? I loved that alien song though. That's funny. Surprisingly that is your least favorite. This is my least favorite song. Yeah. Yeah. And I just don't like her other music overall. So I mean and also just everything about her I've never liked and my vibe has always been off. But that's okay. She just seems very like fake to me. Everything up until she is everything up until her newest album I loved. And then her newest album was trash. And I And then she went crazy. And like, wow, she's really going crazy now. And I heard they're getting a divorce. Shocking. Orlando Bloom's back on the market for anyone interested. Like, yeah. Talk about conspiracy theories that I believe they did not go into outer space. Like, hello. You think they were just like in a little simulator? Yeah, I think it was fake. I think it was fake. We'll look at the videos. As somebody that believes in conspiracy theories will say, the door wasn't a real latch. I know people are listening, agreeing with me right now. I mean, I guess for me, I could go either way because at the end of the day, I don't even care. Yeah, fair. You know what I mean? Like in space or not in space. And considering she spiraled after that like tells us a lot. I feel maybe she did go to space and an alien took over her body and this is the conspiracy we should be believing in right now. Kiss me. Kiss me. Oops. She got abducted with his poison. Oops. Oops. Oopsies. I went insane. Oops. Oops. Do it again, dude. Yeah, she really did, though, okay, I think that's good. Yeah, I think that's a wrap. I think that's a good place to end it. Yeah. Uh, tell us if you liked this episode. We did. I think I'm I'm looking forward to listening back to this one, cuz it'll happen in a few weeks, I'm sure. And it'll just give me so many good laughs. So much joy. We hope we're bringing you guys some joy out there. But we're not done cuz we have an unhinged slasher pass. We do. We should have had you guys send it in. We'll do that next time because we should. We need to give the people their chance to speak. Unhinged. Smash or pass. We were watching Friends last night and I was inspired by this. Smash or pass. Gunther from friends. Oh, pass for sure. Sorry, Gunther. Is he a smash for you? You know, you got to give him something. I'll give him a smash. That's interesting. I know. There's no rhyme or reason. Just vibes. Just vibes. I do like I mean he his hair is pretty cool like he spends time on hair as bright as the sun. As bright as the sun maybe he's misunderstood. I mean if I had to pick between all the guys that we know about on friends it would be Joey. Um but yeah sure let's go with Gunther. Let's rank them. Rank like who though? Like any of the continuous like male characters like not like the oneoffs. Okay. So, we've got obviously Ross, Joey, and Chandler. We've got Gunther. We have um I mean, Mike. Yeah, both mics, right? There's two mics. We have to rank them both. Phoe's mics. They're in it. Both a lot. I was going to say like Paul Rudd mic like her husband. Yeah, but then there's the other of the first mic. Weren't they both Mike? That was the joke. I don't remember. The guy with the glasses. the guy who goes to Minsk. Yeah, his name's Mike.

I didn't think his name was Mike. That's all right. Let's call the Paul RD one. Let's do that. Well, I'm curious what that guy's name is now. David. Oh, it's kind of like a Mike. Yeah, it's like a basic name. Okay. So, all right. So, we've got David, Mike, Joey, Ross, Chandler, and Gunther. Do we have any other ones? Ross's dad. Ross's dad. Uh Tom Sull's in it for a long a couple like two seasons would you say? This is a lot that we're having to do now. Okay. That I'm having to remember. Okay. Let's try. Um this episode's not Okay. This is from Are we doing most Smash World to least? Yeah. Okay. Chandler. Okay. Tom Celich. Yeah. Um Paul Redd. Mhm. Uh, Joey. Yeah. Ross. Mhm. Who am I? Gunther and No, I think that's it. Gunther and David. Yeah, David and then Gunther. Sorry, Gunther's at the bottom of my list. Yeah. Um, let's go with Tom Cull. Um, okay. Which feels cheating for some reason. Uh, cuz like the I don't know.

I mean, I will have it stated for the record that I picked Ma Matthew Perry above Tom Celich. Yeah, true, true. His wit will get you far with me. Yeah. So, I'm going to say Tom Celich, Paul Rudd, Chandler,

Joey, uh, Gunther,

David. like cat. No, Ross. Uhhuh. And then David. David really grosses me out for some dick. Yeah. All right. We'll have to find out your guys's ranking. That was intense. That was That was hard. That was hard. Okay. Uh mine is very random, but it popped up and I was like, "Oh, that's so funny. I haven't thought about this guy in years." Uh the dad from Rugrats, Drew Pickles. Pass. For reference, it's this guy. Yep. Really? Pass. Yeah. He seemed kind of like a little bit of like a a weak personality, huh? Yeah. Is that why you pass? He's not terrible looking. Are you sure the right one? Yeah, that's definitely him. That looks like Angelica's dad, I think. Oh, is it? Cuz the Tommy's dad is like I just said frazzled. Okay. Well, then whoever Drew Pickles is. Okay. He's better. I don't know if that's that must be right, I guess. Yeah, it's definitely him. That's correct. You're okay. So, you're changing. Yeah. It's like he's got good glasses. He's got good glasses. It's like u um he gives Milo from Atlantis. Kind of. Yeah. Like maybe his dad. Yeah. Mhm. But they're probably the same age. Yeah. We're finding out. Yeah. Um it's still a pass for me. I feel like I remember his personality being a little bit like I don't know. Just I didn't like it. I don't remember it at all. Yeah, my sister was very obsessed with that show. Again, no rhyme or reason. I just said yes to Gunther. So, yeah, Gunther. I mean, for me really with Gunther, it's not the looks. I mean, the looks aren't great, but it's not the looks. It's the fact that I don't like his super creepy, timid personality. Yeah. Like, just go ask her out. Yeah. I don't like that. No. Like, get over it. It's not good energy. It's actually in real like really a pass, but jokingly. Yeah. Jokingly a smash. Yeah. Oh, well, there you go. Hey, that wraps up this amazing episode. That was so fun. What a interesting series of questions. Oh yeah. Truly, truly hope you guys got to know us a little bit more. I sure got to know my bestie over here even more and we all got to know each other better cuz you're going to answer too in this week's polls over on Besties in the Books podcast on Instagram is where the polls will be. But make sure to like, follow, and subscribe anywhere you like to listen to your favorite podcast, including YouTube. And come check out whatever current book of the month we have going on virtually on Fable. That's an app that you can download for free and search besties in the book club to come hang out with us. Yep. But you guys, we will see you next Tuesday. Maybe Friday. I don't know what time is, but definitely on Tuesday. Bye.